City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

SEPTA strike ends after one week. Fuckin' chokers.
Plus 4

Phillies cut reliever Ugueth Urbina after he's arrested in Venezuela for alleged involvement in a machete attack. "Quite a shame. We were happy to see him working on his splitter," says GM Pat Gillick.
Minus 2

Philly schools receive $1.7 million grant to bolster parental involvement programs. Like Take Your Dad Back To School Day.
Plus 2

Peco encourages low-income families to apply for grants to allay winter heating costs. PGW puts a cat in the freezer just to see what'll happen.
Plus 1

Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard wins NL Rookie of the Year title. "He should be ready to crack the starting lineup by '08," says Charlie Manuel, through a translator.
Plus 8

Planet Hollywood announces plan to build casino on Delaware Ave. Because there's still a few people left in South Jersey on the weekends.
Even

PA leads all states in deer-related car accidents. "Sorry, it's just really hard to steer with these hooves," says deer.
Minus 1

About 500 UPenn students clash with campus and city police while waiting in line to attend a domestic violence fundraiser. "Yeah, maybe hiring Ike Turner as bouncer was a bad idea," say organizers.
Minus 2

Terrell Owens suspended by the Eagles for the remainder of the season. Bob Geldof organizes benefit concert for T.O.'s starving family.
Plus 5

Total pluses: 20
Total minuses: 5

This week's total: 15

Last week's total: -16