Nov. 23-Dec. 8, 2005

Wed., Nov. 23, 10 p.m., Discovery Channel

Sooner or later, everybody thinks they've got a shitty life. But Chinatown garbage collectors, shrimpers, sludge cleaners and chimney sweeps? They're actually right. And they're finally getting their own show.

Thu., Nov. 24, 9 a.m., NBC

Avian bird flu, carnage all over, weather disasters, you name it: None of them are as scary as giant inflated Dora The Explorers and Puffy Ami Yumis taking over the streets of New York City. Duck! Here comes Pillsbury's Holiday Lovin' Oven!

Sat., Nov. 26, 9 p.m., VH1

All these years and those Limey fuckers are still trying to claim Jimi Hendrix. You know what, Brits? Take him. He's yours. Have it your way. Just don't come crying to us when Tony Blair tries to ban abortion or some weird shit like that. We've got problems of our own.

Sun., Nov. 27, 9 p.m., CBS

Confidential to CBS: You are the weird old cat lady of television networks. First of all, you're still making movie-of-the-week movies. With Anne Heche! And Tate Donovan! And this one's about a runaway! At Christmastime! C'mere you old cooze, you're kind of turning me on.