Holiday family gatherings are not without their contemptuous moments. Rarely, however, do we set out to address our grievances with each other over the Christmas turkey. That usually happens after dinner, when we've been lubricated enough with wine to let loose our inner demons.

Not so among the Polish, clearly some of the bravest people on the planet. During the wigilia (pronounced vee-gee-lia), the traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner, grievances are settled and followed by good wishes all around. "It is," as Theresa Romanowsky, vice president of the local chapter of the Polish American Congress explains, "a time to make amends."

Two things make the scenario more palatable. First, before the dinner, the oplatec—a square, communionlike wafer about the size of a greeting card—is passed around and broken among the guests. While it has the same tasteless consistency of the Eucharist wafer, the oplatec, or "bread of love," is decorated with a religious depiction of Christmas, usually the Holy Family or Mary and Jesus. The sharing of oplatec casts an amiable and reverent air over the dinner, resulting in conciliatory moments among family members and close friends. Family members absent from the dinner will often get oplatec in the mail.

The second mood setter is the food. While Polish families await the first star to appear in the eastern sky (Gwiazdka), they prepare days in advance for the Christmas Eve dinner, the most important day of the season. "This is more important than the actual Christmas day," Romanowsky explains, "because we believe Christmas Eve is the night Christ was born."

The wigilia is, like other ethnically inspired Christmas celebrations, informed by ritual and religion. There are typically seven, nine or 11 courses that make up the dinner, and yet it is considered bad luck to have an odd number of people at the table.

"According to tradition, the number of guests has to be even," says Romanowsky. "Otherwise some of them may not make it to next Christmas."

Occasionally this can be remedied by setting a place for an unexpected guest since, as tradition dictates, a guest in the home is God in the home. Candles are placed in the windows to symbolize the hope that Jesus—in the form of a stranger—will come in to share the wigilia.

Typical wigilia dinners are an array of central and eastern European delicacies. The menu, however, is always meatless, in accordance with the Church mandate that people fast in anticipation of Christ's birth. Traditional dishes include pierogi; barszcz (borscht); beer or almond soup; fish such as pike, flounder, salmon and herring; piernik (honey bread); and desserts like makownik (poppy seed cake) and chruschiki, that sugar-dusted twisted cookie also known as the Polish pretzel.

Romanowsky also manages the Polish American Cultural Center and Museum in Society Hill, where you can buy oplatec as well as cookbooks filled with recipes for wigilia dinners. As is to be expected, every Polish family has variations on the wigilia. Yet whether it's over cabbage or piernik, amends must be made and a plate set for that elusive stranger awaited by the faithful.

Wesolych Swiat! (Merry Christmas!)

Make It

Makownik (poppy seed cake)

Allow yeast to soften in the warm water. Scald the light cream, remove from heat and add the sugar and salt. When cooled, blend in the yeast and egg. Gradually sift in the flour and mix well. Stir in the butter and if necessary add a bit more flour to form a medium-firm dough. Knead for several minutes, until smooth. Place dough in greased bowl, cover and let rise until doubled in bulk, about one hour. Punch down, then roll dough into a rectangle. Spread the poppy seed filling evenly and roll up as you would a jelly roll. Place on a well-buttered cookie sheet. Cover and allow to rise again until doubled in size. Drizzle melted butter over the top and bake for 30 to 35 minutes at 375 degrees. If desired, you may glaze the roll while still warm.

Christmas Almond Soup

Combine all ingredients, and heat gently. Be careful not to scald the milk. Serve after the fish course.