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Lord & Taylor's light show got cut back, meaning anyone looking to snag a quickie at Wanamaker's eagle has fewer chances to have his pick-up lines backed up by John Facenda's booming voice. We've handed City Hall's floor show to Artlumiere's fruitily produced LiteBrite-meets-French Second Empire decor. I can live with these changes. But what I won't do is call Christmas just another holiday, nor a "Christmas tree" a "holiday" one. Not because I'm Catholic—I've long since screwed that up. I won't do it because I wouldn't call a "Hannukah menorah" a "less-gay candelabra." I won't do it because I wouldn't call a "Festivus pole" a "stupid prop from a rerun dullards use to enliven office chatter." I won't do it because I wouldn't call "cheese" a "giraffe." If using the word "Christmas" is a problem, don't take off Dec. 25. I'll call you from home—where I'll eating a giraffe and lighting my candelabra. … Guitarist Matt Davis, clarinetist Amy Christmas (wanna be mad at her, heathen?) and their chamber-jazzy Aerial Photograph celebrate their gorgeous, Indre-recorded Before the Stars Burn Out with a really big shoe at Chambers-Wylie Church (Broad between Spruce and Pine) Dec. 10. … After a year in exile, disco DJ Robbie Tronco returns to Glam Saturdays starting Dec. 10. If you miss my Friday electro-punk-hop weekly at Glam, go yell "Guido" at him. More in the OC? N2's Nancy Lewis and Noel "Dr." Zayas shut down Second and Market, Dec. 8 at 9 p.m., for their 100-model-strong Old City shops' fashion pageant. … After finding their stolen bass at Society Hill Loan, Northern Liberties—who gave this year's holiest show, cross-legged and acoustic on the floor of Bar Noir—gets loud Dec. 10 at Be Happy House, 4078 Spring Garden. "I'm looking forward to putting new stickers on it, since the pawn shop scraped the old ones," says NL's Kebin Unlord. … Lauren Hart—touring the world with hubby/La Colombe-r Todd Carmichael after the Jan. 14 release of her 5 Lifetimes CD—ends her 16-month tenure at NBC's 10! Dec. 9. Why now? Neither she nor the station wanted drama. "I left early because they wanted to try some new hosts and I didn't want to prolong the agony." Also, changing houses'll keep Hart busy—she sold her Bryn Mawr home to co-worker Luann Cahn. "We met at a cancer charity event, as she's a survivor too. My mom became our real estate agent." … According to Philth CEO Stefan Benarsky, Philly Mag -- wisely, you gotta check all leads—inquired about a bogus e-mail between himself and Tommy Up claiming that Conde Nast and Clear Channel wanted to buy out Benarsky's dirty mag. ("Both companies have called us. We're negotiating because we definitely don't want a full buyout," read Benarsky's intentionally leaked e-mail). "I was surprised by their call," said Stefan, who got interviewed by a Philadelphia reporter whose name I won't reveal despite his distaste for me. "I thought Dan Gross'd bite." (I didn't know about his e-mail in advance—and I write there. Still, I didn't buy it.) Luckily the joke—a silly publicity stunt—was revealed, avoiding the unfortunate circle of hell that is hoax-dom. Benarsky added that maybe Philly could sponsor Philth. And the mag (Philth, not Philly) holds its Christmas model hunt Dec. 12 at Bar Noir with a photo shoot featuring Dirty Diamond, Skeletor and Undergirl—the latter, with This Radiant Boy and Cordalene, auditioned for an H&R Block national commercial with Philadelphia Casting Company. Look for a touring garage act (Hail Social, Hawthorne Heights?) to audition soon. … Brasserie Perrier manager Chris Cwienkala'll throw some beee-zare parties round town starting Dec. 8 with a rawk-tech DJ bash at Raw, 13th Street's new sushi salon in the Stetson Building. … We don't love Michael Nutter stomping drinkers and smokers. But we adore the councilman telling Donald Trump 'n' Pat Croce their schematic for that proposed Budd Manufacturing plant casino wasn't big enough—in social scope: Nutter wants a bigger economic boost for Nicetown than their plan calls for. Next time, make fun of their hair while you're at it. … WHOWHATWHERE: After her fabu-lash New York Look Book pages, Strummer Hoffston (aka Hoffman) hit Patti Smith's Brooklyn Academy of Music show in NYC with AKA Music dad Mike Hoffman. "She doesn't go out unless she's decked out," says Mike. When asked if there was any recognition, Mike said "nah," not realizing I meant for him. After Bonnie Raitt gave shouts to Larry 'n' Mickey Magid from the stage of the Tower before heading into "Nick of Time," her opening act, Marc Broussard, hung at the Waterford Inn. And finally, the last word on Lady Sovereign's bad-sound one-song debacle at Silk City: Yeah. It was funny. Apparently Sov had three pint-sized glasses of Cognac and Sprite before hitting the stage. After knocking over speakers and kicking bikes, Sov—whom I literally bumped into outside, post-show—promised to be back. For free. She must be serious. She supposedly tried hitting Silk's ATM—according to R5's Sean Agnew—to refund ducats. … Gone and sad: Moore's Inlet in North Wildwood— rocking since 1912—demolished; Latimer's Geoff Doring, the sweetest player Philly ever produced, passed last week; Jerry "Shoes" Healy, of Beru Revue and Alan Mann Band, passed too. "Whenever Jerry joined a band the music improved vastly," said Philly rock emeritus Kenn Kweder. "When he left, it was always obvious Jerry was no longer there."