More than 70 percent of city's 380 homicide victims last year had been arrested at least once. People of Philadelphia, it's time we put an end to this crime-on-crime crime.
Minus 1

The region's largest grocery store chain, Acme Markets, is sold to Supervalu Inc. for $9 billion, but will keep its name. "Actually, we're gonna tweak it just a little bit," says Supervalu CEO. "How's Acm strike you?"
Even

South Street Bridge closed for repairs again. "Once the bridge falls," says Penn president Amy Gutmann, "blood will rain on the Schuylkill and the hour of our secession will be at hand."
Minus 2

The percentage of Philadelphia teachers who are certified is on the rise, up to 94 percent. The other 6 percent got their degrees at Crazy Milton's Schmertification Kiosk.
Plus 1

The Zoning Board says Club Kama Sutra was only licensed to be a restaurant, not a sex club. No matter what the Zoning Board says, that was a nice place to eat out.
Minus 4

CBS3 sports anchor Beasley Reece calls Howard Stern's radio show to deny rumors by a former NFL teammate, who's since come out of the closet, that he's well-endowed. "I'm pretty sure he was thinking of Vai Sikahema," says Reece.
Minus 4

Mayor Street's new budget proposal calls for increased spending on cultural institutions and development of the riverfront. "Specifically," says Street, "I'm thinking a waterfront museum of failed waterfront development projects."
Plus 2

Donald Trump announces plan for Trump Tower Philadelphia, a 45-story waterfront condo/casino. Says Trump: "I'm modeling it after Beasley Reece's dick."
Even

Total pluses: 3
Total minuses: 11
This week's total: -8
Last week's total: 8