t.A.T.u.

"Loves Me Not"

You thought it was tough being a teenage lesbian in panties and kneepads? Try being a twentysomething with a kid, and watch interest rates plummet: The Onion's A.V. Club dubbed t.A.T.u.'s Dangerous and Moving the least essential album of 2005. After blowing up with 2002's 200 KM/H in the Wrong Lane, Russian pop czarinas Julia Volkova and Lena Katina got caught having boyfriends and went on a dumping spree. (Svengali Ivan Shapovalov and Volkova's baby daddy were among the casualties.) Dangerous and Moving doesn't advance the story or correct any wrong impressions, scattering just a few suggestive phrases among its dozen by-the-numbers breakup songs. Only "Loves Me Not" makes an effort: "I complicated our lives by falling in love with him," Volkova lilts over delicate piano, before blaming her girl's absence and her own goddamned confusion. (The guy, evidently, is guilt-free.) Drama ensues, of course, in the industrial-dance refrain, "He loves me/ He loves me not/ She loves me/ She loves me not." But while the excuses are wishy-washy, at least the execution kills. Give credit to Stabbing Westward drummer Andy Kubiszewski and Brit-pop producer Ed Buller, who co-wrote and produced the track. Thanks, guys. Now that they've traded the panties and kneepads for tight jeans and tank tops, Volkova and Katina need something to hold people's attention. It may as well be the music.