It's an unlikely combination of sight and sound—a 5-foot-tall Asian guy decked out with big, slick hair and a tux, stroking a debonair mustache, puffing himself up while standing at the farthest end of the Walnut Room.

He points to an imaginary center of the crowd—a lounge lizard-y gesture as perfunctory as a wink—all the while mangling ethnic Asian phraseology, a happily ridiculous piss-take on broken English.

Auld Wang Syne: Newton impersonator/martial arts enthusiast Mei, aka Wang Newton, will ring in the Chinese New Year at The Five Spot.

"Herro."

"Ret's hop aboaaard the Ruv Boat, baaabeee."

"You raaadies are ruvereey."

After several Asian-tinged slings and macho arrows ("Radies ruuv big Wang") Wang Newton—purported Taiwanese nephew of Wayne Newton, rumored bastard child of Connie Chung, cabaret and karaoke host extraordinaire—starts to sing.

First, there's his disco version of "The Ruv Boaaat Theme."

Then, "I'll Be Ruvving You, Forever."

"New Kids onna Brock rock!," he yelps in a high, soft register.

Of course, there's "Danke Schoen" for Uncle Wayne. And "Danke Wang,"—to all the girls Wang's, uh, ruvved: "Those who go back to their boyfriends, who, in turn, discover they are attracted to Wang," he says.

Or rather, she says.

This "man" with remarkably un-hairy knuckles and a lithe tiny figure is a 27-year-old woman who'll only identify herself as Mei, a Taiwanese-born actress (she starred in Uncut Productions revival of the play Eye of the Tiger), and former agency employee and promoter who went under the pseudonym "Empress Diana" at Shampoo, where she learned the life of a drag king and all the associated fabulousness.

"Now? I get my Wang on 24/7," says Mei.

This Wang's been getting steadier work and local renown since Halloween 2004 when a costume became a vocation. "I kept getting more requests to make appearances," says Wang, who turned those requests into a monthly Puddin' Pop party at The Walnut Room, as well as tonight's

Year of the Dawg Chinese New Year Extravaganza (with Taimak Guarriello, Carmen Martella III and others)

Feb. 2, 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. at The Five Spot (

<>5 S. Bank St., $15/$10 after midnight)

.

"2005? Definitely a Year of the Wang," she says. "I didn't expect to get so much ruv from my fans."

At first, the Wang act was more about the persona than the material: "r"s for "l"s, big hair, seduction in the form of insistent bumping 'n' grinding willing customers.

"While the rapper LL Cool J said it best—'ladies love Cool James'—I confess there's been an increase in supposedly straight men that ruv Wang Daddy as much as the radies do," says Mei. "I let my bodyguard Han Sum Chop take a night off and next thing you know some dude is biting my ears."

The act started as simple "life-of-the-party fun," says Mei of her character's whys and wherefore. It's only when reactions—both negative and positive --came from within and outside her community that she felt the need to better define her "Wang space."

"There's definitely a 'who we are as Asians and females' and 'how we should act' thing," she explains. "But despite any first impressions people may have of me, I hope to revel in the positive when I perform.

"A billion people and their ancestors is a hefty weight to carry. Some people say I'm setting 'my peoples' back 1,000 years. … I'd like to think I'm bringing them into the future."

Looking ahead herself, Wang just filmed a role for Gyro/Backseat Concepts' Bikini Bandits: Booby Bowl for iFilm.com. She's also a mascot for the Philly Roller Girls.

But branching out from mere persona is where the future of Wang lies. Like doing standup comedy.

"She so drew people to her with that character, I just knew her standup would be wack," says Danny Ozark, the raunchy comic and open-mic comedy booker at Bar Noir and Abilene who gave Wang her first-ever standup shot at one of his Abilene Wednesdays. "She didn't disappoint."

And now, with her "herrro" to the "Year of the Dawg" at The Five Spot, Wang'll not only display the martial arts skills she shares with Uncle Wayne (demonstrations by Sifu Pete Pajil of Moy Yat Ving Tsun Martial Intelligence; an appearance from Taimak Guarriello of The Last Dragon), but unveil a new side to Wang as MC—one done "real classy, [with] black leather Tims baaabeee. Maybe with one pant leg up."

"I don't want to be played out," says Mei. "The standup gets the 'Wang story' out of the way for newcomers. Eventually I hope to get the Asianness out of the way too and progress to more dynamic monologues. I hope to constantly improve Wang. I want Wang to become a real All-American boy."

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)