You know what I love? Like, really, really love? The way the O.G. major TV networks are all twisting in the wind like a bunch of sorry bitches right now. Seriously: For years and years, these pricks have been warping us badly, putting shows on that actually leave you stupider for having watched them, and then charging advertisers for the pleasure. And while this "Fuck me? No, fuck YOU!" business model has served them well for decades on end, watching the whole thing crumble has been as glorious as the morning they finally imploded the Vet.

Because two things have happened in the ensuing network scramble: There's the networks stepping it up a little bit to hold onto what little attention spans we have left (see Lost), and there's us, let's face it, watching whatever we want whenever the hell we want.

First up and sexiest of the new options for your TV fix is this new iTunes TV shows store. Basically, you can "buy" episodes of sundry TV staples for $1.99 a pop, but it's loaded with drawbacks right now: For one thing, you need state-of-the-art gear to make it all happen, preferably a video iPod. For another, as was the case when iTunes originally launched, the TV store only features programs from networks that have been savvy enough to cut an early deal with Apple. For this reason, you can watch Desperate Housewives, but if you want some Gilmore Girls, you're SOL. (On the other hand, the innate weirdness of the somewhat barren list of shows on iTunes kind of forces you to pay attention to forgotten or never-watched shows; what's up, Battlestar Galactica? But jive is still jive, and nothing—nothing—is gonna get me to watch Monk.)

As you can guess, though, iTunes is merely legally mimicking what fans have been doing more and more (and illegally) over the last few years: downloading their favorite shows. If you've ever streamed or downloaded any video longer than three minutes off the net, you don't need me to tell you how annoying this can be. But with the advent of bit-torrenting, forget about it. Sites like mininova.org feature a full list of TV shows available for torrent, and they're updated daily. It's an abundance of riches, but there's one drawback: You're going to have to start getting more comfortable with all of the various video formats: divx, mp4, good ol' avi, and God knows what else. On the plus side, as the new generation of computers (and users) gets more and more video-rip-savvy, the list of what's available just gets bigger. Today on mininova: The L Word! A BBC doc on the pyramids! And of course, the entire fifth season of Gilmore Girls.

Plus… TV/Tivo Tips!
Feb. 2-16

Survivor: Panama— Exile Island
Thu., Feb. 2, 8 p.m., CBS
This shit is getting nastier and nastier each season, and sooner or later, it looks like they're finally going to take my long-standing advice to all reality shows: Shoot the losers. Plus, this year's Tribal Council is in a CAVE! Just like Osama!

Super Bowl XL: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Seattle Seahawks
Sun., Feb. 5, 6 p.m., ABC
"We are thrilled to perform for millions of fans at one of the most exciting and highly anticipated sporting events of the year," said the Rolling Stones. Yeah, sure they did. This one had better have some fucking jaw-dropping commercials, that's all I'm saying.

Rollergirls
Mon., Feb. 6, 10 p.m., A&E
No, it's not Philly Roller Girls, but really, in a pinch on Monday night at 10 p.m., any roller girl'll do.

The 48th Annual Grammy Awards
Wed., Feb. 8, 8 p.m., CBS
Scheduled to perform, and new for this year: People who actually play music. The Boss! (Awesome.) Coldplay! (Wah-wah.) John Legend! (Philly represent!) Kanye! (Please God, we know you're tired, but just for shits and giggles, let George Bush do just one more infuriatingly robotnik-stupid the day before this airs. Honestly, dude: How hard can it be?)