icepack

We're barely a year into being, what, Manhattan's bitch and bastard child according to the douchey hype?, when New York magazine's newest ish gives next-borough props to Pittsburgh. Better for gay crowds, film fiends and artists, they say. And football teams. Oy. OK. We got it. We're building all those condos for nuthin'. But even if that were all true, the place still smells like stuffed cabbage all the time. Get up on that, PITT. The Pleasure Garden sex club at Jerry's Corner had a dick-free opening (and by that I mean, no L&I) and will continue its live fucking every Saturday (Dirty Diamond appears March 4, presumably there to do his rude comic thing and not suck off the help). Meanwhile, Philly's other bone-boite is headed outdoors. Ick. Clubless Club Kama Sutra, formerly of South Street, is going camp—I don't mean Meet Me in St. Louis—come June with group showers and bunk beds. I can handle flabalanchers fucking en masse. But not in bunk beds. Info:

Paisan! The South Philly Review is casting about for a managing editor? Atsa nize. Despite Philly's Soul Collective e-mails to the contrary, nothing's changing at Silk City in March. Not according to the buyer-to-be, N. 3rd's Mark Bee. "We're still waiting for money. Hopefully end of April," says Bee-bulah. In related news, Queue was sold by owner Mark Simeone (also of youngprofessionalevents.com fame) to 32°/Cuba Libre stalwart Jonathan Hunter. "I'm finished with parties, promotions, events and the nightlife scene. To be honest, I never saw myself in the biz long-term," says Simeone, the daytime dentist. Before he moves on to freedom, more teeth and a potential screenplay, he says, "Thanks, Center City for the good times. Too bad I can't remember them." Diplo in February? Busy. He started a label, Mad Decent, that'll probably put out mash/Baillie/funk/ casio/dirrrty/ Baltimore/'80s/bootleg-hop (www.maddecent.com

), like the Brazilian trio his gal M.I.A. founded, Bonde Do Role. And he applied all those above sounds to one little ole, big remix—his just-out Yeah Yeah Yeahs version of "Gold Lion." We know Albert "Zanzibar Blue" Paris and what his funky Asian 18th Street restaurant, Mantra, will be come April. But who owns Goji Tokyo Cuisine, an Asian contemp-op sushi place with chefs from Nobu, opening soon at 20th and Hamilton? Rich "Large Marge" Wexler's Sherman-Arts jawn goes live for the first of its quarterly shows at Bar Noir March 6 with Jason Kucsma, the game-boy-ish Chromelodeon, T.U.U.G.O.T. (The Ultimate United Givers Of Themes) and the CD release for Joshua Marcus. Whozzat? Just the freaky, funny leader of Like Moving Insects is all. When The Book and The Cook fest kicks off at Wyndham Franklin Plaza with its annual multi- participating-restaurant bash, The Taste Of (March 7), it'll coincide with the finale of its monthlong Cocktail Classic showdown, done in tandem with VOX and dozens of area mixologists. Guess who's judging? Me, who hasn't had a drink in three years. Expect someone to get punched and tickled, and I don't mean me. WHOWHATWHERE: Gordon Rice—legendary Sigma producer—has been following G. Starr and Naeemah from Society Hill Playhouse to Bar Noir. Is it a look to book or is he just strange? So, you say you don't go for Paul Walker—the seemingly dumb dude behind dumber mainstream hit movies like The Fast and Furious. Heck, the director of his new film, the dark, wordy Running Scared, Wayne "Not MC5" Kramer didn't either. "I couldn't imagine him in this." But Walker, after dining at Buddakan, but before Saloon, told me he was pumped to change your mind. So pumped, that he was popping out of his sofa at Four Seasons. "Fuck yeah, I've always been blond-haired and blue-eyed—always the pretty boy and nothing but—and I was always gettin' into a fight over it." Pay special attention to the four-man Caberet Mélange getting pelted with toast when they host a Rocky Horror Picture Show screening March 6 at World Café Live. After this, they'll become the 13-piece Oberon Orchestra, complete with strings and probably Polyphonic costumes. You haven't seen Jersey's Dave J—producer/manager/guitarist/E-Triber—in some time. He doesn't hold it against you. He's been busy too. So go check out his alternating (with saxophonist Elliott Levin) Thursday open jam at Smoked Joint starting March 2. Live Arts yeahyeahyeah: Sure she was a producing bigwig at the Fringe Fest. But Diane Eacret's now hooked up with Brat Madi Distefano for their Causeway series of shows, starting March 8 at Christ Church. Live Arts boss Nick Stuccio's brought in his own new peeps for Fest No. 10—visual and performing arts curator Janera Solomon (who just did a project for the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, take that 12th borough!) and director of marketing Heidi Duffey, who just did the ole Brooklyn Academy of Music. Philadelphia Film Festival must've heard me griping as to where their big guests were. Just out: Laurence Fishburne comes opening night with Akeelah and the Bee, March 30. And is Cuba Gooding Jr. stopping by for Lee Daniels' Shadowboxer debut? Remember the Alfonso Amorosi guy from last week's CP tile tale? Dad kicked my ass when he saw his dis of Julian Schnabel in print. ("Now he's calling me all mad," he says, of a supposedly boozed-up Schnabel's late night ringings.) We just got out of Penn-Presbyterian Hospital for an operation removing his foot from my ass. So love wishes and get-well kisses.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)