When it debuted in November 1981, City Paper was a thin, dirty little monthly born out of the WXPN Express, the independent radio station's newsletter. We had a snazzy sunburst logo designed by future Fox 29 correspondent Gerald Kolpan, and an actual poetry editor, the late Alexandra Grilikhes. Issue one featured a cover story on education reform, the first of a two-part series on PGW wanting to shut off your gas and an article by local legend Mary Armstrong lamenting the bad press Appalachian dulcimer had apparently been getting at the time. Classical music writer Peter Burwasser, also still in the CP fold, debuted in issue two with a disconcerting, Kafka-esque tale of being bitten by the stereo bug.

While sifting through the archives in Schimmel's downtown lair, one article from the December issue caught our eye. Here's your headline: "From de Tocqueville to the Beatles, we've always stood on the shoulders of foreigners to get a better glimpse of ourselves. In West Philadelphia, there are THE SWISS."

Um. Let's read on.

"It is not surprising in West Philadelphia to call your local credit union and hear a Swiss accent on the other line. It is commonplace at various community meetings to find a Swiss in charge, or at least speaking out with some pertinent information."

To read the headline and lead paragraph, you'd think West Philly had been taken over by watchmakers and chocolatiers in 1981. But alas:

"There are four Swiss in West Philadelphia. Although they are four individuals, they are simply referred to as 'The Swiss,' a mythical race of competent and punctual super-workers."

The article was a well-meaning peek at how four foreigners viewed Philadelphia which maybe went a little over the top in trumpeting its aims. Hey, we were learning back then.

Next week: 1982! 12 issues! MILTON STREET!