All right, Moms of the City Paper empire, if we were to dump you at the following destinations, what would your reaction be?

The 33rd Annual Mercer Museum Folk Fest

The festival features early American cooking, children's crafts, storytelling, juggling, live bluegrass, blacksmithing, spinning and weaving. (Sat.-Sun., May 13-14, 10 a.m., $6-$8, Mercer Museum, 84 S. Pine St., Doylestown, 215-345-0210)

Ms. White: Don't get me wrong, I love old stuff (just check out my boyfriend), but it's not exactly how I would like to spend my Mother's Day. Trudging through dirt in your new spring sandals and listening to crappy folk music doesn't sound very relaxing.

Ms. Thomas: Well, if the kids like it, of course I'm going to like it. The bluegrass music? Don't shove that stuff down my throat.

Ms. Halpern: I would go for the music, [but] all the rest of it would be a yawn. A bunch of rug rats running around, some guy in a costume flicking his cigarette [while] eating a turkey drumstick … not my idea of a good time.

Mother's Day Aboard the Spirit of Philadelphia

This floating dinner palace offers a buffet, dancing and narrated tour of the Philly waterfront. (Sun., May 14, various times, $24-$59, 866-211-3808, www.spiritcruises.com)

Ms. White: I just got a picture in my head of me hanging over the railing watching that impressive buffet sailing away on the Delaware.

Ms. Thomas: That sounds elegant! I don't get out too much, so that sounds like a change of pace.

Ms. Halpern: [Laughs] Where's that skirt I need to hem? Got any buttons you want sewn on? How about ironing? I can iron well …

National Constitution Center's Mother's Day Brunch

The NCC's second annual Mom-Day brunch features flowers, gift bags, breakfast, aromatherapy and complimentary massages. (Sun., May 14, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., $19.95-$32.95, Delegates Restaurant, National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St., 215-409-6700)

Ms. White: I love history. Add a foot massage, and who could ask for anything more? Well, I could ask for a sexy, young stud to be doing the massaging, but you can't have everything.

Ms. Thomas: I see [The NCC] as a place for history, not brunch.

Philly Roller Girls' Mother's Day Mayhem

The Broad Street Butchers face off against the Heavy Metal Hookers in this girl-eat-girl old-school skate battle. (Sun., May 14, 6:30 p.m., $10-$20, Millennium Skate World, 1900 Carman St., Camden, N.J., www.phillyrollergirls.com)

Ms. White: Violence? Blood, possibly? What more could a redhead with a bad temper ask for? Hopefully my cheap-ass kids will remember everything I went through to bring them into the world and spring for a nice dinner afterward. One of them brats comes up to me with a hot dog and the real butchering will begin.

Ms. Thomas: That is not my thing, and I probably wouldn't even watch it on TV.

Ms. Halpern: Get me drunk and I might have fun. Is there a free dinner that goes with it?