Bad Idea Factory :: Philadelphia City Paper. 25 Years of Independent Journalism.

We love a little historical putt-putt as much as the next guy (see opposite page). And we love the course at Franklin Square depicting the high points of Philly history. But you know what they say about history: It's written by the winners. And here in Philadelphia, we've got a statute against employing 'em. That got us thinking about 18 holes celebrating the double-bogeys of our storied past.

1. The Disney Parking Lot Memorial Sand Trap: This giant chasm's an easy hole-in-one, but you never get your ball back.

2. The Joe Vento Citizenship Checkpoint: "Titleist, eh? Sounds French to me."

3. The Wacky South Street Bridge: Just putt over the bridge ... oops, it's falling apart!

4. The Frank Rizzo Statue: Just putt the ball through the smiling Chairman's legs. Oh no! He's batted your ball into the Schuylkill with the nightstick in his cummerbund!

5. M. Night's Zig-Zaggy Denouementster: This one's really long and has more switchbacks than the French Alps. But don't worry — you can see the end coming a mile away.