I mean, fuck, even I DJ.

So why would anyone attend the annual DJ Times International DJ Expo unless they're looking to get groupie tail?

"I don't go," says DJ Lee Jones, of Swanky Bubbles and Bubble House fame. "It's not [about] the type of music I play. Honestly, in my opinion, it's more of your typical South Philly/Jersey-type people who listen to Top 40."

Dag, Lee.

DJ Times journalist and media rep Emily Tan disagrees.

"Babe, we drew over 5,500 DJs last year and expect even more this year," she exclaims. "There are professional mobile and club DJs, music producers [and] artists in this country who are not the Sasha and Digweeds of the world. How else would they find out which new artists are hot? How else to learn about music publishing and U.S. law as it pertains to running and operating your own DJ biz? How else to learn about, test, try and buy the latest, state-of-the-art DJ equipment and software?"

Essentially, the 17-year-old DJ Expo is packed with panels, seminars and workshops devoted to home and studio producers and DJs using Ableton Live and FinalScratch.

"Do you know what Serato Scratch Live with time-coded needles is?" asks Tan. "How about the Pioneer DVJ-X1 and its video capabilities for CD/DVD jocks?"

Uhhh.

"There's no place else that aspiring DJs and producers can get to know this stuff," she says.

And she's right. Attendees don't just go to party; they go to network with industry executives, record label professionals, promoters, club owners, equipment manufacturers, agents and managers looking to make business deals and forge industry relationships.

"They're there so they might change the course of their careers," says Tan, who knows that DJE2006's nighttime parties and exhibit floor are what the Winter Music Conference used to be before it turned into MTV Spring Break.

This year, expect seminars on psychological discourse, the likes of which you'd find at a Tony Robbins session, with motivational speaker Bryan Dodge. Get your golf on at the DJ Times outing at The Links at Brigantine Beach. A highlight for old heads: Turntable Titans' DMC Champs C2C at House of Blues. And if you get tired of all that scratching, run down the street to Jay Z's 40/40 Club. There's no turntablism there.

Although the expo attracts DJs of all stripes (house, trance, breaks, drum and bass, pop, rock, gay/circuit, etc.), this year welcomes the first-ever reggaeton/Latin contingent, courtesy of Oscar Poche. (Even Daddy Yankee and reps from Wu-Tang's Latino will be there.) Tommie Sunshine, Uberzone, Junior Sanchez, DJ Three and Birdy Nam Nam will also be breaking in their new tracks.

"We have a number of notable diva vocalists—I forget their names—and tons of jaded journalists like you," laughs Tan.

It's on.