Two Quaker leaders blast a "malaise" within the Society of Friends, calling the faith "stuck in its old ways." "Riddleth me this," says one. "Which is the only religion without a confirmed kill in the last couple decades?" Even

After a months-long stalemate, Bob Casey Jr. officially agrees to two televised debates with Sen. Rick Santorum. Here's how they'll go down — Casey: "You're a homophobic bigot." Santorum: "Shut up, faggot." Casey: "I win." Plus 1

Phils center fielder Aaron Rowand breaks his ankle after a collision with second baseman Chase Utley. Rowand's agent requests that the team add more padding to Utley. Minus 3

Ed Bradley, Blythe Danner and Cheri Oteri scheduled to appear in upcoming TV spots promoting the arts in Philadelphia. Oh, are we playing Pyramid? OK, how about "People Bell Curve thought were dead?" Plus 1

To decrease Center City traffic, the Philadelphia Parking Authority will enforce a $40 fine for double-parking. "As always, you're still welcome to triple park on top of fire hydrants along Shunk," says PPA spokesperson. Plus 1

The Ethics Board begins an investigation into former Wireless Philadelphia head Dianah Neff's abrupt decision to resign and relocate to Atlanta. "I mean, it all sounds on the up-and-up to me," says Street. "But I've got a track record of not noticing things that are going on like right under my nose. I'm like one of those blind mole rats or something when it comes to corruption and betrayals of the public trust. I'm an embarrassment. I shouldn't be allowed to be mayor, really." Plus 1

A Chestnut Hill landscaper discovers marijuana growing in flower pots along Germantown Avenue. Talk to you next week. Bell Curve has to go have a word with a certain landscaper who needs to learn to mind his own fuckin' business. Plus 1