Say you enjoy fresh, local food but you're too busy to cook and too poor to eat out. Maybe you have friends coming over and you need to whip up a vegan banquet. Or your doctor just told you to cut down on the KFC, but you haven't the slightest idea how to work a stove. With Bistro B, Kim offers in-home personal chef services designed for the well-meaning eater with limited resources.

TAKE HOME CHEF: Joe Kim's Bistro B will take even the smallest apartment by culinary storm. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

A self-taught cook, Kim has worked variously as a high school biology teacher and pharmaceutical industry professional — in sales and as a research consultant. Local rock fans will also know him from the bands The Lucys and The Preacher Curls in the 1990s and early 2000s. He first became interested in food during his sophomore year at Lehigh University when a roommate brought home a copy of the Betty Crocker Cookbook — and he can still remember drunkenly attacking a roasted chicken carcass after a night of hard partying.

It took a few years in the corporate world and too many wasted hours watching YouTube clips in his office cubicle before he realized he wanted to make cooking his livelihood. At first, Kim and his wife, Renee, tried to open a restaurant in Chestnut Hill, but when the lease on their proposed site for a bricks and mortar Bistro B fell through earlier this year, Renee suggested that he take a stab at the personal chef business instead. And, as Kim says, every guy should listen to his girl.

While Bistro B's main service is cooking a week's worth of "everyday" meals for busy clients, Kim also offers some unique programs. He throws wine-tasting parties with customized hors d'oeuvres, and private cooking classes for groups. A spa day package includes an in-home session from local masseur Robin Fink, followed by a healthy lunch. He is also happy to man someone's grill, serve tapas all night or provide snacks for a knitting gathering or record release party.

Just don't confuse Bistro B with a catering company. "Caterers can be formal and stuffy — you have all those guys in tuxes carrying silly platters that have been used countless times before. And no one sweats. This is different. We come to your house. We use your dishes. It's your party, in your style. We're like your brother in the kitchen, coming out every now and then with something else to try."

If there's a defining characteristic of Bistro B, it's that it's affordable and accessible. For events, Kim charges by the hour, not by the head, so he can conceivably cook a dinner party for six people for $100. His hourly rate is $35, and he can plan a menu based on the client's budget for ingredients — it's the sort of challenge Kim relishes. Pricing by the hour also means that a pan of meatloaf will cost more than a plate of seared scallops. (For everyday meals, he charges by preset price points, $14-$22 a serving.) Both events and meal preparation services include shopping and cleanup.

"I want to make Bistro B available to all walks of life, particularly those that would never think of hiring a personal chef," he says. "Good food is on everyone's mind these days, but I feel I'm serving an unmet need, bringing it home for my clients."

Unlike the increasingly popular curbside takeaway menus at chain restaurants, Bistro B guarantees fresh, healthy meals made with seasonal, local and often organic ingredients. And unlike DIY meal preparation businesses like Dream Dinners, Bistro B is a service rather than an afternoon's entertainment. "Those places are like Color Me Mine, and we are more like your maid or housekeeper," says Kim.

Bistro B's cuisine is wide-ranging, and clients can specify whether they want family-, restaurant- or gourmet-style meals. On the whole, though, Kim's cooking is homey and rustic: Korean glass noodles with rib-eye steak, vegetables and sesame dressing; braised beef with horseradish polenta; cornmeal catfish with collards and sweet potato puree.

Because the meals are intended for future consumption, they're designed to withstand chilling time in the refrigerator and rotational time in the microwave. At a recent vegetarian feast, Kim whipped up wild mushroom crostini with shaved asiago cheese, rigatoni Bolognese with ground soy, couscous with figs, pistachio and mint, eggplant napoleons with fresh mozzarella and parmesan crisps and an arugula salad with candied pecans and honey goat cheese "clouds," plus fresh berries and mascarpone for dessert. For 20 people, the party cost $300. Not bad for $15 a head.

Best of all, would-be clients need not be embarrassed about a tiny apartment kitchen with limited counter space and peeling linoleum. Kim has cooked in fancier kitchens and he can say from personal experience that granite countertops are overrated. "As long as you have a sink, a stove and an oven, plus some power, I'm good to go."

(e_ludwig@citypaper.net)