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It's my championship season heyah — where I pretend I care about sports and not just how badly you dress. Is it a good one? Well, Sal's sadly gone. AI's sadly here. Cole Hamels' my hero. Randall Cunningham needs a haircut. And I still smell poppers and sauerkraut from that Phillies Gay Appreciation Day last week. You go, team bitches. Yet, nothing's better and less sweaty than seeing that Vince Papale movie, Invincible. Because all of it — the movie, the fact that this Delaware County, no-college-football-experience-having bartender, in 1976, at age 30, became an Eagle and the NFL's oldest rookie — couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. "There's nothing going on in my life," laughs Papale, from his office — cell phone rocking, fax machine pinging. Vince's psyched for the Aug. 24 premiere at the Prince and reception at Lucky Strike. (We welcome Mark Wahlberg back for that. And we said "fuck you" to The Rock — we kid, we kid, of course we didn't — for coming to the Riverview the night before to hawk his stinking football movie Gridiron Gang.) Papale's gearing up for life's next quarter: as a top motivational speaker AND the Sallie Mae Fund's special projects director; working with colleges and universities, trade and med schools — getting underprivileged students cash they need to get learning. "Every bit of publicity I do for Invincible involves what I do for Sallie Mae," says Vince, not just of upcoming speaking engagements, where he'll be giving out five $10,000 scholarships to middle school kids at risk, but of PSAs he just jetted to film in Hollywood with Wahlberg. "After this, those jets are pretty much over," Papale teases. "But it's a helluva story and it's been a helluva ride." How much they get right? "The football stuff was on the money — as real as it got; the spirit of my journey, too. But it's not a documentary, so they took liberties." When I tell him they took some liberties with that hair, he laughs. "They got the point." Want to know Papale's favorite Invincible scene? Hit www.citypaper.net/clog. Don't rain on my Plain Parade: Danger! Danger! House (47th Street) is the only place on Aug. 26 to see West Philly's rrrriot-danz-punk Pony Pants (Till Death Do Us Party) and the moody-proggy-metal Red Rocket (A Family of Pandas) unite. Don't fuck up. When King Britt isn't busy doing art that don't bank (Sept. 16's Fringe Rotunda show with Tim Motzer playing King's ambien-techno Nova Dream Sequence) Britt's paying bills thusly: "I'm chillin' with Michael Mann right now, working on a Rolex commercial he's shooting." Also with money on his mind, G. Love, who played Borgata last week: "The touring industry is changing as much as the business of selling records. I'm playing casinos more than I care to admit." And to all you angry Philly-ites with no bank and no ride to have seen him in A.C.: "I got a two-night stand at the Electric Factory around Thanksgiving." So we know that delicious Redhead/Jolly's Piano Joint, moved from its 17th and Latham Hotel space to join its brotherly sports bar Jolly's at 19th Street only to move back to the Latham recently. That was a soap opera. But I hear a rumor Jolly's Sporting Saloon Bar may either jump or get pushed from that location soon. Make like Frank Booth and hang in the dank of Bar Noir Aug. 28, not only to hear John Begley — Prophase music boss — do his first darkwave gig as The Stem Cells since leaving Live Not on Evil last week, but also to see Needles Jones do his rarely performed The Nico Show with Jones channeling the dead Velvet-lady based on Needles' experiences buying heroin for the German chanteuse. When I saw The Notekillers open for Red Krayola a couple weeks ago, their whole marauding, halting, metal-loop harangue was at its most primal. They're at The Fire Aug. 25. Do that. I know I dropped dime on that J.C. Dobbs reunion at World Café Live (Oct. 7) with Kenn Kweder, Reesa and Mikey Wild ages ago. But does anybody know why Dobbs former owner Kathy James has zip to do with it and Randy "Dance" Bucksner does? (Bob Beru too?!) Ex-RuffHouser Kevin Glickman's Respect Management just helped his cokaina-blabbing client (it's all over his album!) Rick Ross drop Port of Miami on Def Jam, "My Attorney" Bernie Resnick gots two Philly clients on the charts: Producer Quran Goodman wrote and produced a few Luda-tunes for money-maker Ludacris' Release Therapy (as well as new tracks for Amerie). Plus Jim Beanz goes gold big-time as his Timbaland Production co-writing/production credit on Nelly Furtado's "Maneater" single is blowing him up or getting him blown or something. You won't have Simon Stanford to be your ex-Town Hall guy or help with your sheets at 10th Street Laundromat. He's recordingan LP in L.A. with Ian "Janet Jackson's fuck toy — sike" Cross. Simon'll be back in October. Your sheets will have to wait. WhoWHATWHERe? On the north end of town Delilah's Den bouncer Marvin Johnson is filming pilots for his gourmet cooking show La Bonne Vie! with creators/directors Erich Weiss (soon shooting a Kanye West vid) Andy Burr and Nick Esposito at NoLib's Backseat Conceptions. To the south you'll find Sal Mazzotta shooting part deux of his sky-fi trilogy The Unknown wit' Justin Guarini and David "Soprano" Proval at St. Monica's cafeteria. Capicolla! And that was TV stylist Nelson Chan at DnA Salon in NoLibs on Monday, snipping 'n' crimping. Sadsadsad: We send condolences to the friends/family of Melissa Hollely — exec pastry chef at Washington Square/dancer/model— who passed away suddenly at age 28 last week. She was and is a treasured free spirit. And made a mean Italian Ice Martini.