And that's when I met the little black box.

They call her the Sybian. I call her a strokin' genius.

The Sybian is inventor Dave Lampert's pet creation, a Dirt Devil-size machine érotique made famous on the "The Howard Stern Show." "This ain't your mamma's vibrator!" warn the ads — and that's no joke.

Here's how it works: With the Sybarite, aka rider, mounted cowgirl-style, various attachments rotate and vibrate inside the vagina, while the body of the machine rattles and quakes against the vulva. The control box, no more complex than an old-school Atari, regulates the speed and vibe setting. The 22-pound machine gets its juice from a plug in the wall, and comes with a lifetime guarantee. Not too shabby considering women a century ago were humping vibrating tables in their doctor's office, seeking orgasms as a cure for hysteria. (In the interest of full disclosure, I've never actually ridden a Sybian. Shit's expensive — $1,315 for a basic package — and it's not exactly the kind of thing you want to buy off eBay.)

Sybian parties and group rides have gained loyal followings in more adventurous corners of the globe, but finding locals into gal-on-gadget action has proven a tad trickier.

That's where Michael Diamond comes in. Arguably the most prolific videographer of Sybian rides, Diamond and his partner, Lady Venus, have filmed many a lass succumbing to the mechanically induced orgasm. Although most of the talent hails from Miami and Los Angeles, they've toted the Sybian to Vesago's First Friday and other regional adult-alternative parties in hopes of recruiting would-be riders. "You go up to a girl cold on the street in Philly and she'll punch your lights out," says Venus.

Diamond got his footing two years ago in fem-domme photography, mining the dungeon terrain in exquisite stills. But his big break came when a friend at video-on-demand powerhouse HotMovies.com offered him work filming niche fetish clips. Under the ErosArts umbrella, they shot girls licking lollipops, boot-crushing Easter Peeps, smoking, face sitting and, most importantly, riding the Sybian.

"It's a very real shoot," says Diamond, who relishes the tease-and-denial aspect of operating the controller. "The girls are really having a good time. They're typically nude by the end and begging me to let them cum."

Adds Venus, "Guys can't vibrate. They're all thrusty-thrust and it can't compare. These girls scream their heads off."

Diamond estimates that fewer than 5 percent of the girls he has filmed were unable to achieve orgasm on the Sybian. "But they probably don't get off on anything," says Venus. "Some of the Philly/Jersey girls, they're like deer in headlights. Dead. Nothing in their eyes." Conversely, other riders experience multiple orgasms, some for the first time.

"The trend in porn now is very violent, with throw-up and crying, throat fucking, bukkake, shit-whore talk," says Venus. "It's disrespectful, and we don't do anything disrespectful. My God, if I had a dinner party, I'd show one [of our videos]."

Any chance they'll start a Sybian party in the future?

"Lots of luck, honey," laughs Venus. "You might as well sit back and wait for the government raid."