I 'll never forget the moment 9/11 really hit home. Up all night with a comfort case of Yuengling, blankly staring at the news, one selfish question was running through my mind: Did I know anybody who didn't get out? A day or so later, a face popped up on a local newscast. A recognizable face. Danielle Kousoulis' face.

Like me, Danielle went to Haddon Township High School, about 10 miles east of the Ben Franklin Bridge. She graduated two years before I did. We were by no means close — I can't remember ever talking to her, actually — but when you go to a school that graduates around 150 students a class, you know everybody's story. Danielle was one of the good ones.

The news listed her among the missing. But she really wasn't missing. She was dead. A woman with a promising future whose life was cut tragically short in the name of extremism.

That night, I cried for Danielle and the thousands of others who'd perished in Manhattan, at the Pentagon, in western Pennsylvania and aboard the planes that had been turned into instruments of mass murder. Her death was as close as 9/11 came to personally impacting my life.

So, as Tuesday's fifth anniversary approaches, I have no place to hold court about what it all means. But I know somebody who does.

Danielle's little brother Peter was a year below me at Township. Now a postal worker, this fellow American has been forced to live with the aftershocks every day since Sept. 11, 2001. Last week, I called Peter to ask whether he'd like to take over this column to write anything he wanted about a day that shattered his family. I'm happy he wanted to, because we all need to hear what Peter, and the countless living victims of that day, has to say.

His is a pain we should never forget.

ONE OF THOUSANDS: Kousoulis with boyfriend Chris Mills, Sept. 7, 2001.

The date was Sept. 15, 2001. It was the day my parents set aside to throw a surprise 30th birthday party for my sister, Danielle. That party never took place. Danielle's life was cut short four days earlier.

On the morning of Sept. 11, just like she had ever since she graduated from Villanova University in 1993, she went to work for Cantor Fitzgerald, an inter-dealer brokerage firm with offices on the upper reaches of the World Trade Center. Danielle loved working and living in Manhattan. She continuously spoke of the view she had from the 104th floor of the North Tower. That's where she was when the first plane struck on 9/11.

I was watching the events unfold on television from my house and after the South Tower collapsed, I knew it was only a matter of time before the North Tower would go as well. I tried calling her cell phone over and over again, but couldn't get through. We'd later find out that her boyfriend, Chris Mills, was able to get in touch with her as America watched smoke billow from the towers. Talking several times before connections went down, he told her to "just get out of there." She couldn't.

When the North Tower fell, I knew in my heart that Danielle was still up there. I didn't want to accept that fact. Here was a person that would help anyone at the drop of a hat. She'd never asked for anything in return.

My life changed forever that day. I lost a sister, a confidant and a friend. She helped me through some of the toughest times of my life and knew me better than anyone in my family, let alone the world.

My sisters and parents, especially my father, have not been the same since that day, either. The birth of my niece, Amalia, and my nephew, Liam, seems to have helped them somewhat, but five years later, nothing can take away the pain that lingers in our hearts for the loss of Danielle. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, because she was always there for me.

Five years later, I still see the planes crashing into the buildings and the towers falling.

What bothers me more today, however, is the fact that everyone who died that day may have died in vain. Some of the recommendations from the 9/11 Commission have been enacted, but it pains me to see that many have not. We can't continue with politics as usual in Washington, when our ports and borders are still vulnerable. As a nation we came together after 9/11. We have to again.

Many people say that we are safer since there has not been an attack since. However, after the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, eight years passed before 9/11 took place. I fear that we have again become complacent. Osama bin Laden wants to destroy us. His followers are patient and we are not yet safe. It saddens me to see that he is still out there and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to catch him.

Since we can't seem to bring him to justice, we have to do everything in our power to make our nation as safe as possible. I just hope that my sister's death, and the deaths of nearly 3,000 others, is forever in the minds of the people who make our laws.

I don't want any other families to have to go through what mine has.

(hickey@citypaper.net)