icepack

You know, I'm still reeling from that ABC 20/20 Pennsylvania Ballet thing. "Only 26 percent of our male dancers are gay, and the remaining men are dating or married to fellow Company Members" went their press release. Fuck that. I don't go to the Ballet to see 74 percent straights. I can get 72 percent straight at an Eagles game. Boing. So what's "PINK" and gay all over if not the Ballet? Tracy Buchholz's LGBT Pink party, Sept. 23, at TPDS — duh! Yup, weekend one at Johnny Brenda's, the battle lines being drawn, the first shot in the war between NoLibs and everything South of its border (there's your secession — not the Northeast!), and it's nothing but net for the nu-rawkers. "We were sold out or near capacity every night," says booker babe/manager Brandy Hartley, pointing out that only the way-filled-up Capitol Years CD release jawn didn't go standing room only. While looking forward to getting interns so she don't have to work 80-hour weeks, she's wack enthused about James Sugg's "The Sea" hitting Brenda's Sept. 29 after its too-sold-out Fringe run. Dunno who started myspace.com/spankrocksucks 'gainst our Philly-to-Baltimore rap snack fave, Naeem. But I'm personally inviting Winona Ryder to Spankrock's Sept. 22 Troc show as she was almost turned away from NYC's Fat Baby show for not having ID. Hallow's Eve comes early when Bloody Wall of Gore, Scareho, Love Cinema Vol. 6 and murder junkie Rich Hillen Jr. all crawl over to Millcreek Tavern, Sept. 22. So I heard this thing about ex-Townhall/neighbor-of-mine Simon Stanford, he who just left 10th Street Laundromat and Philly for a bit to record songs in L.A. with old pal Ian Cross. The story goes that the Epic label marketing head behind Oasis heard Simon's freshly done tunes and dragged him to NYC to sign him. So I contacted him. "Crazy shit's happening to me," says Simon, who'll revert back to his real first name, George. "I didn't like Simon's attitude. It conjured images of that cocksucker on American Idol ." In short order, one Brit hears him in L.A., drags him to NYC for new Sony chairman Rob Stringer. Epic loves him and wants to be in the 'George business.' Is he signed? Not yet. There's options to weigh. "It's been unfolding as a very organic, natural thing." Which brings us to the Laundromat. "Looks like I'm on my way out of the wash 'n' fold biz. While I'll miss all those stinky-ass filthy motherfuckin' clothes and all that time I spent doing my best to erase those well-defined skid marks, I can't help but think brighter things are ahead." Lee Daniels' right-hand girl, Lisa Cortes, just told her left-hand man that she got appointed to Philadelphia Film Society's Board of Directors. Congrats. It's an L-Cast kinda fortnight. While the renegade Drexel label sees its Come Dionysus play the Khyber Sept. 22 and sponsors next-door neighbor Glam's art show with photog Jesse Cary and graffiti artist Patrick Moser, electro-honking label mates To the Moon and rapper D-Sharp (his live debut) play Medusa Sept. 23. Then, all the aforementioned L-Cast band frontmen join producer Eric Vincent's new last-Monday Curve Dominant Sound+Vision live jawn at Bar Noir, Sept. 25. "A core ensemble will host improvised performances featuring guest singers, rappers and musicians from Philly's music scene," says Vincent, who'll get Chris LeFevre (Cheap Sneaks), Anam Owili-Eger (Turtle Studios) and Tony Catastrophe (Steph Pockets) to jam. Who's Steph Pockets, you ask? The big-in-Japan West Philly rapper who records with her husband Bump and just released "Can't Give Up" in the Land of the Rising Sun, son. WHOWHATWHERE: If Dr. Phil really does have all the answers what was he doing eating at Jim's Steaks? A shiny Phil and his entourage got spied leaping in and out of Escalades so to savor C-Whiz flavor. Our Govenator? Yeah, Ed Rendell wasin Gladwyn with Jon Bon Jovi at the campaign fundraiser for the slippery-when-wet one's partner in the Philadelphia Soul (Craig Spencer). But. Ed and Biz Markie? Yup, they were both at a special liquor promo event at World Café Live — after WCL hosted the "climbers," "divers" and "crusiers" of the Public Radio Program Directors of America. NPR's Kitchen Sisters held court. Listenership is down. Ugh. Let's drink. Speaking o' booze: Jackass: Number Two's Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville got spotted billiard-ing at Tattooed Mom's and Buddha-ing at Buddakan. Or vice versa? Doug Kammerer from NBC 10 News, Donna Coghlan from House of Blues, and Hope Cohen from "Hope Cooks" got escorted from The Five Spot to Monkey Bar by David Carroll, the newly minted club consultant who has something to do with getting Monkey its owners and finding new ones for the Spot. And yes, Five Spot hosted Black Lily. Brian Posehn may have hung at Relapse Records before his TLA-bound Comedians of Comedy gig. "But he didn't look like he wanted much to do with anyone," said one bystander. Who else but the E-Streeter who plays "Silvio" on The Sopranos — Little Steven Van Zandt — would call Philly "an affiliate" and our hottest garage band the coolest? So, Philly's not the first city on his "Underground Garage" radio show tour that hits TLA Sept. 23 with The Zombies and the Fleshtones. But. "You're a cool city, and a cool affiliate with a cool audience," says Stevie. And of his "very hands on" booking of Philly's own Jukebox Zeroes as opener? "They're cool." Ba-da-bing. To putt or not to putt? Come Sept. 25, you'll knock balls and eat steak for the Annual Prime Rib Charity Golf Outing whose proceeds go to our old friend — the late John Mannino's Scholarship Fund at Temple U's School of Hospitality Management. Holes at Whitemarsh Valley Country Club in Lafayette Hill, Pa., 10:30 a.m. Dinner and auction at Prime Rib, 17th and Locust, that night.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)