Garth Sundem

Tue., Oct. 3, 7 p.m., free, Penn Bookstore, 3601 Walnut St., 215-898-7595, www.upenn.edu/bookstore

If you're like me, every night of excessive drinking ends the same way: Sometime around 4:30 a.m., you stumble home and crash on the sofa.

And, if you're like me, every morning-after begins the same way: You wake up at 6 a.m. sharp, consumed with the desire to do algebra.

But hey, you can't spell "sexy" without XY. You're XX, and God knows you haven't had any XY in awhile … all the drunken multiplication in the world won't solve your problems.

Garth Sundem must've found himself in a similar predicament. In Geek Logik (Workman Publishing Company), the author sets out mathematical equations to guide the socially awkward through 50 common professional and romantic dilemmas. Are you drinking too much at company picnics? Are you drinking too little at company picnics? Should you sleep with a co-worker? Shouldn't said co-worker be drinking more at company picnics?

Sundem doesn't offer any answers. For those, you have to plug in your own variables.

But if you're like me, you're already used to that.