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Been There/Done That

BULGE Underwear Night


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Published: Aug 24, 2006

Every Wed., 9 p.m.-2 a.m., free, The Bike Stop, 206 S. Quince St., 215-627-1662, www.thebikestop.com

I'm standing in a tiny room full of cock rings. A big man with a ponytail and an unbuttoned leather vest greets me.

"Oh God, there's a girl here!"

I awkwardly nod and turn as if I'm shopping, grabbing the closest item within arm's reach. Nipple clips!

I should go back upstairs.

The Bike Stop isn't your typical Gayborhood bar, and tonight isn't your typical Gayborhood night. In a far corner, a young man talks on his cell phone, wearing nothing but black sneakers, tube socks and underwear. I try not to stare but that's sorta the point of the monthly BULGE party, hosted by Butch from In Bed With Butch.

The dress du jour is undies only, but there are no spikey-haired skinny boys in silk boxers and UGG boots dancing to Christina Aguilera. Rather, there are shirtless bartenders and patrons with Fu Manchu moustaches, beards, beer bellies and, oh God, grandpa? A white-haired man with a fuzzy chest saunters up from downstairs, aka The Pit Stop, and I can't help but wish his whities weren't so tightie.

Later in the night, I try to make my way back downstairs, but a sign over the door reads, "Leather-levi-uniform-fetish-attire is suggested."

I'm denied.

"Gentlemen party only, sorry."

I'm half relieved and half offended.