In The Event That...

You're Too Perverted for Blow-Up Dolls

by Rachel Frankford

Otto & George

Fri.-Sat., Sept. 15-16, 9:30 p.m., $20, Best Western Hotel, 11580 Roosevelt Blvd., 215-676-JOKE, www.comedycabaret.com

In my opinion, clowns are friendly and harmless compared to ventriloquists' dummies. When I was 8, I saw an old movie about a killer dummy, and I just haven't been the same since. Those big blank eyes … the fat rosy cheeks … the dirty jokes … yeah.

X-rated team Otto (flesh-and-blood dude) and George (little wooden guy) are coming to the Comedy Cabaret, but this ain't no vaudeville act. They hosted the Porno Awards in Las Vegas (apparently, they offended the audience) and are best known for their appearances on Howard Stern and the Opie and Anthony Show.

The basic shtick is that Otto tries to keep George under control as he ponders the deepest questions of mankind ("If gay people don't breed, where do they keep coming from?") and stuns onlookers with incontrovertible truths that no one else in our timid society has the courage to say. ("Miss Piggy got a stanky bull's eye!")

Oh, my childhood innocence!