Dear Fuckers

1 of 5

Published: Sep 28, 2006

In what appears to be the first piece of hate mail ever sent to City Paper, an anonymous writer sent word in January 1983 that he or she thought "Yr (sic) rag's the most useful and enjoyable of Philly's throwaways!" It's only gotten nastier, and more personal, in the 25 years since. Here's a sampling of some memorable correspondence.

No Sex, Please

Was it absolutely necessary for your new editor person David Warner to unzip his fly and expose himself in your "Men With Sticks, Men in Dresses" edition? I mean, really, guy, I sleep with men, too, but I don't have to declare that in print just to make sure my readers know where I'm coming from, ya get my drift or what, buddy?

Lucia Bayard Swope
Center City
Feb. 12, 1988

Makes Us Sic

If Cindy Fuchs insists on using ad nauseum [sic] every other week, she should AT LEAST know how to spell it correctly. AD NAUSEAM AD NAUSEAM AD NAUSEAM ... Use your AP stylebooks, for God's sake.

S. Edie Exene
South Philadelphia
July 14, 1989

Just Another Sleazy Tab

I had formerly thought that City Paper was a respectable publication, but after reading the cover story "Space Bomb," I see that it's just one more tabloid that's somehow crawled out of the supermarket check-out line. Indeed, the level of paranoia, hysteria and just plain ignorance of basic science in this piece is hard to match outside of the SPACE ALIENS MADE MY TWO-HEADED BABY PREGNANT stuff.

Darrell Schweitzer
Strafford, Pa.
Oct. 20, 1989

Terrible Editor Ego?

I think I'm flattered by a.d. amorosi's take-out on me, but I can't be sure. Are you writing about me, Stu Bykofsky, or my terrible alter ego, Stu Bykovsky? I guess I'll know for sure once you figure out how my name is spelled.

Stu Bykofsky
Daily News
Jan. 26, 1990

Deadhead Bashing

I have always thought that it's sad that something so harmless as the Deadhead following draws so much hate and scorn and violence. It's obvious that Sue Spolan went to the Spectrum to write a negative article. (Filled with misinformation!) As for her choice of vulgarity, try using it on all the militant lesbians and she'll learn the true meaning of "asshole"!

Mike Hauck
Yuppie Deadhead
Oct. 5, 1990

Duped and Scooped

If ever there was a case for retracting the whole cover story before it hit the street, your pathetic [one] on Biosphere II would be the poster child. As the voice of the left and the environment in Philadelphia, you have done a serious disservice to your readers.

John Stonis
Philadelphia
April 19, 1991

Cut to the Quick

I love City Paper, but your recent cover story on AIDS and hairdressers was the worst story I've read on the topic. Just stupid and stupidly written.

A.M. Alvarez
Philadelphia
Oct. 25, 1991

He's Not Gay

I found the subject matter of "Ask Isadora" richly perverted and thoroughly DISGUSTING. Why do you continually choose to discuss taboo sexual perversions that no one really cares to read about?

P.S. Your writing and a.d. amorosi's writing are very similar. What's up?

Edith Bunker
Philadelphia
Nov. 8, 1991

Because Sex Sells, Sexy

If City Paper insists upon remaining this city's self-appointed "champion of the oppressed," how do you explain the fact that the last few pages of every issue contain ads devoted to ... operations that are extremely offensive and continue to perpetuate oppressive ideals toward various minority groups, primarily women?

Thomas W. Justice
Philadelphia
Jan. 28, 1993

Shut Up

Margit Detweiler does not speak for me. Nor does she speak for anybody I know. I mean I feel somehow dirty even being concerned enough to actually write to you about this. I mean, Margit Detweiler is a name that concerns no one. I mean I hate my stupid generation. I mean she is such a fucking SUCKER.

Love,

Eric DeJesus
Philadelphia
March 11, 1994

Stroke Play

If you ask me, Howard Altman jerks off with both hands. His better-than-thou, sanctimonious implication of the North Star Bar as racist reeks of all-out moral masturbation.

Ketan Ben Caesar
Philadelphia
1994

Jamal's Innocence

Dear Shitty Paper, Congrats on having sunk to an all-time low in your recent, unimaginative, un-investigative, un-alternative and generally pointless article, "The Mumia Machine," which disgraced the cover and contents of your paper.

Pamela Breitman
Philadelphia
Sept. 15, 1995

Loose Canonist

One of the frustrating things about conversing with conspiracy theorists is that regardless of facts to the contrary, the conspiracy must hold. Such was my recent conversation with your columnist, Bruce Schimmel, [who] managed to ignore nearly everything that didn't conform with his pre-written tale.

Paul R. Levy
Executive Director, Center City District
May 16, 1997

Mac Attac

Loved your muzic isshew and the article on your tenyer in Rockulla. It has always bin my pollicy at the Weekly to suport gud local music, emfasis on gud. ... I'm sorry that I misspeled Rob Julio's name in my article, as Dettwiler explaned in her storry. By the way, I only spell my name one way so peepal don't get confuzed: It's MacDowell.

Jill MacDowell
Philadelphia Weekly
Oct. 23, 1998

Check Yourself

As a reader for the past 10 years, I've gotten used to most of the ignorant ramblings of your writers. However, you showed an appalling lack of class by making a cheap-shot crack about Eric Lindros. He almost died, which isn't too funny to me. But I guess to you radical, extreme journalism types, that kind of stuff is pretty fucking funny, huh?

Dave Chamillard
Northern Liberties
April 16, 1999

Sam's Fan

[Sam Adams] is the worst. He is worse than he said Shayamalan's script for The Sixth Sense was. He described how awful that film is in the most annoying jealous schoolgirl way. He made an ass out of himself and anyone who read that review knows it.

He's not even good in that "guy you love to hate" way. He's bad in that "City Paper has the worst reviewer" way.

Tommy Updegrove
Philadelphia
Oct. 22, 1999

Gross!
City Paper

usually makes for a good lunch companion, except for this week's placement of the advertising. Seeing a naked man bent over with a feather duster up his ass just didn't complement my roast duck and steamed greens over rice very well. Save that crap for the personals.

Bigsby
Philadelphia
May 3, 2001

The Backlash Begins

[Re: Comics, "Rusty Brown," Chris Ware, June 14, 2001]

This by far has been the most appalling piece of ignorant trash ever printed in a paper which is so very easily accessible to the public. The entire text of the comic is highly offensive, especially to the members of the gay, lesbian and transgendered community.

"...OR MAYBE SOMEONE JUST TOOK A SHIT THERE AND IT GREW INTO A FAGGOT THIS MORNING, HUH?" This line is absolutely disgusting. Are you implying that gay people are equal to feces? That we as a whole are so low in the scheme of things that it is okay to be referred to in this manner? Devoting a full page — in full color, at that — to this piece of homophobic propaganda is completely uncalled for.

Randino De Rosario
Philadelphia
June 28, 2001

You've Got a Lot of Nerve...

Just when this jaded old soul found it impossible to believe that City Paper could possibly harbor a bigger asshole than Sam Adams, along comes A.D. Amorosi's blunt hatchet job on Bob Dylan (Music, "Love and Theft," Aug. 9). Amorosi's spastic, vulgar language is obviously the result of years of pent-up resentment toward Dylan, rock 'n' roll and whatever else he thinks is responsible for the "death" of folk music, or whatever the fuck he was lamenting in his near-incoherent screed.

Dylan will continue to be respected and, yes, revered as a towering figure in American popular music while you will most likely live out your days as the same untalented, vindictive punk you've always been, filling second-rate "alternative" rags with columns of pointless banality.

Michael D. Zungolo
Germantown
Aug. 16, 2001

Harm-ful

[Re: Pretzel Logic, "Harm's Way," Howard Altman, Feb. 28]

You, sir, are an evil man of unlimited hatred and narrow-mindedness. To even suggest that President Bush might somehow benefit from this barbaric act [the murder of Danny Pearl] is, in my mind, treasonous. You are a coward who hides behind his holy shroud of alleged journalistic mores. No one gives a damn about what all of you bleeping chatterers squawk about, since it is usually only self-promoting anyway. This time you have hit a new low.

Phyllis Farquhar
March 7, 2002

The King and Us

To Mr./Ms. Editor, Philadelphia City Paper , or should I call it Philadelphia TRASH ? I believe your mailbox is flooded with e-mails from many Thais who are in anger regarding your Saint Jack's ad by now. I'm one of them. I believe that being a media, you should be able to understand the differences between cultures. And treat them respectfully.

So don't be like tyrant Americans, who think that they're so good that they don't have to care about anyone else in the world. A tyrant like that may be the cause of 9/11 incident. You don't want something like that in Philly, do you?

Anupong Torranin
Via E-mail
July 4, 2002

Fuck cherry levin!! Fuck Editor and Fuck citypaper Fuck all american!! hope you all died with pain like 9 SEP 2001 you think you can do anything if you think is right. NO!! try to use your small brain, do anything that not make anyone hurt. That is right. learn what did you do to other country and what did you get. a bomb a died. you call a terrist. but I think you create that terrist by your self. think much. don't use your brain like an animal

Go to hell your fucking bar. I know why your worl trade were crashed last year. You are a moron nation who does't care any other emotion. always rigth, it's your motto. You will see Thai attack.

See ya
Unsigned
July 4, 2002

Fuck you, your mother, your dad, your wife and all your family with the elephant's cock.

Unsigned
July 4, 2002

The Altman Files Conclude

Re: Howard Altman's "Democracies Die Behind Closed Doors": No they don't, asshole! They die when we allow our borders to be overrun by people who don't believe in democracy and destroy us from within. ... We're trying to win a war here, so you liberal assholes need to just shut the fuck up and stay out of our way.

Weston Veith
Sept. 12, 2002

Sweeney = Weenie

It was bad enough that we had to tolerate Joey Sweeney's self-appreciative rantings every week in the Weekly , but now he is worming his way into our dear City Paper as well? City Paper, don't fall for him!

Serena Thaw
Clementon, N.J.
June 23, 2003

But We Love Swingers, Like, A Lot

Sometimes you fail, and fail miserably, like the recent article about Club Kama Sutra. The information on CKS is almost exclusively based on what people with a financial interest in it told the writer. ... Companies normally would pay thousands of dollars for such advertising. The CKS owners must be ecstatic. A shallow and sometimes offensive article. Worthy of a tabloid rag.

Constantine Daskalakis
Philadelphia
Feb. 19, 2004

French Fried

While you were out covering the latest trends in art, music and fashion, the United States government was overtaken by a band of right-wing Christian lunatics.

Upon the backdrop of these events, your paper introduces its readers to Nancy French, authoress of that "poor, little Southern girl lost in the big, bad liberal metropolis" saga.

Every square inch of leftist newsprint should be hoarded and guarded like the gold it is. Not only do they have to be fought, they have to be banished from public discourse entirely, to be isolated and treated like the dangerous lepers that they are.

Lloyd Luntz
Center City
Sept. 30, 2004

Smoked Hams

I wasn't bothered by the fact that [Brian Hickey] opposes the [smoking] ban. I was put off by his manner of presenting his "argument" (if you could even call it an argument).

If he wants to present his side of things, he could at least do so with some level of intelligence and competency. ... Present some facts. Make some points. Back them up.

Please don't waste my time with your temper tantrums. I hear enough of that at work teaching elementary school children.

Carrie Biegler
Northern Liberties
March 24, 2005

You fucking no-good, filthy, dirty smoker. Who the fuck cares whether you live or die, you're a piece of shit.

Every smoker will be terminated. The time is near. When that happens, the suicide rate is going to go up 340 percent. You filthy dirty motherfuckers. I just punched two of you in the mouth this week for being the creeps that you are.

Name Withheld
March 31, 2005

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