"Looking For Mr. Good-Dad"

By Cathy Crimmins - January 20, 1984

	print	email	reply	rss feed

Published: Sep 28, 2006

One of City Paper's earliest and most prolific writers, Cathy Crimmins turned out humor columns, theater reviews, food articles and cover stories on everything from alternative medicine to the food distribution center in South Philly. She even reported on the 1984 Democratic convention in San Francisco. But of all the funny, sad and astute observations she offered readers, none was as compelling as her piece about single and lesbian women over 30 confronting the deafening tick of their biological clocks — and in some cases, choosing artificial insemination over waiting for Mr. Right.

This woman has rejected the idea of artificial insemination because "it would be hard to explain to the kid where it came from." But she is not involved with anyone, and is considering re-establishing an affair with a married man in order to conceive before her "deadline" is up.

Even women without medical complications feel pressured to conceive by a self-determined deadline that ranges from ages 33 to 45. Several women told me that this obsession to find a potential father (or "Baby Fever" as one woman calls it) had changed the way they interacted sexually with men. "It's gotten weird, a little more animalistic," admitted a would-be single mother who has started buying baby clothes on sale even though she is still searching for a man to impregnate her.

Sick of waiting, some are turning to medical clinics to find their Sperm in Shining Armor. The Elizabeth Blackwell Health Center for Women at 1124 Walnut Street began an artificial insemination program last year. "One of the reasons we started the service was that we felt single and gay women didn't have the opportunity to get insemination services," says Miriam Diamond, the Center's Education and Outreach Coordinator.

The idea of artificial insemination taken out of the context of the married couple who've been trying to have a child for years smacks of Brave New World to some people, but Miriam Diamond says there has been "no adverse reaction from the community."

[Center counselor Ruth] Palotti is even more adamant about every person's right to enjoy parenting: "What is appropriate motherhood? We (in society) have a very narrow definition."

Crimmins, who moved to Los Angeles in 2003, says she has always been interested in how females control their own fertility. "As quaint as it might seem now, it was hard to get women to open up about their worries that they might miss their biological deadlines," she recalls. "In 1984, pre-Sex in the City days, that made women more embarrassed than angry." Crimmins is the author of 22 books, including How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization (Tarcher/Penguin, 2004) and Where Is the Mango Princess? (Knopf, 2000), a memoir about her husband's excruciating recovery following a traumatic brain injury.

Expect The Unexpected
25 Years of Memorable Stories
"Behind The Lines"
"The Taking of Northern Liberties"
"Moonrise Over Philadelphia"
"The Truth About Mince"
"The Downshouter"
"Behind Closed Doors"
"The Gray and The Bloodless"
"How To Harry"
"Tape Head"
"My Baby"
"Phillyspeak"
"Heroin Highway"
"Violent Femmes"
"Stakes Is High"
"Waxing My Girl"
"Delilah's Exotic Dancer Of The Year Pageant"
"Ground Xero"
"Mortal Combat"
"Nothing Will Ever Be The Same"
"The Transit of Venus"
"Marketing 215"
"How They'll Lose"
"The Big Miedo"
"Battle of the Sexless"
Time Lapse
People To Watch (Over The Next 25 Years)
Don't Make Us Pop A Cap(sule) In Yo' Ass
Attack of the Killer Freebies
The Bell Curve: 25th Edition
From Blank Screen to Orange Box
Dear Fuckers
Tales From The Truck
Running Numbers: 25th Edition
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The City Paper Freelancer Hall of Fame