The sight of people armed with religious literature usually merits an automatic duck-and-run. For writer Steve Purcell, however, it provided a chance to peer inside the bizarre world of the Unification Church ("Moonies"), an organization known for eccentric zealotry. Early in the piece, Purcell visits a session on "the Knowledge," an ephemeral concept that could only be conveyed by Mahara Ji, a guru with an implied degree in snake oil salesmanship.
There was a hitch, however. (Isn't there always?) According to the tenets of the Divine Light Mission, "the Knowledge" could not be imparted to anyone who did not surrender himself body, soul and bank account to Guru Mahara Ji. I didn't buy it. A lot of other people did. After the lecture, many of the young men and women prostrated themselves before a huge color poster of the cherub-faced, allegedly 15-year-old Perfect Spiritual Master and chanted his name over and over, proclaiming their undying love and devotion to him.
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The next morning, [my friend] McGuane and I attended a second lecture, which was the equivalent of a final briefing by a parish priest to a group of sixth-grade boys and girls before they receive the sacrament of confirmation. The saffron-robed Indian man was to be the Bishop, and we were the would-be confirmees. Instead of a slap in the face symbolizing our initiation into spiritual maturity, we were to receive a free sample of "the Knowledge," a taste of Nirvana to whet our spiritual appetites.
Briefly, Mahara Ji's man rehashed the main points of the previous night's talk and then asked if anyone had any questions. Only four or five of the several hundred people in the auditorium had questions to ask. I was one of them.
"What exactly does the Guru Mahara Ji expect of me as a devotee?" I asked the lecturer.
He didn't seem to understand. I rephrased the question several times. Finally, he understood.
"You are on top of Himalaya Mountain," he said.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Guru Mahara Ji tells you to jump off. Would you?"
"Hell no," I said.
"Out! Out! Get out!" he screamed. "You are not ready to receive the Knowledge."
Indeed I wasn't. And neither was my friend McGuane, thank God. Later that afternoon, we shared a few laughs at the expense of Guru Mahara Ji and drank a few beers, offering up toasts to the true idols of our generation: sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Purcell didn't stop there. After attending an uneasy info session, he ended up in the Drake Hotel, chatting up a group of women who shed light on the Moonie tradition of arranged marriage. "Companionship and physical intimacy obviously aren't major priorities in the blessed state of matrimony as defined by [Church founder] Reverend Sun Myung Moon," he writes. "For many, awkwardness and language barriers extend the bar indefinitely — leaving more time, perhaps, for the work of the Church."
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