Running Numbers: 25th Edition

by Nick Norlen

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Published: Sep 28, 2006

Running Numbers says cheers to 25 years of everyone's favorite left-leaning, smut-filled, "people only pick it up because of 'I Love You/I Hate You,'" award-winning alt-weekly.

$1 Cost of any additional City Paper you want to read. That's right — if you had read the fine print in the masthead, you'd know that our fine publication is "available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue." In honor of its anniversary, City Paper has graciously decided to offer amnesty to those who have violated this policy in the past. But from now on it's either permission slips or crisp Washingtons, you despicable thieves!

5 Number of years it took this 'bloid to go weekly. Using my hastily conceived "exponential incremental distribution theory," it only makes sense for it to take 25 years to go daily. Who's with me?! So far it looks like the only hands raised are those of founder and editor emeritus Bruce Schimmel and prolific contributor A.D. Amorosi. I know you two have an endless cache o' content, but, uh, I was just kidding, guys.

51.5 Percent of City Paper readers, according to a 2005 Media Audit, who are single, separated, divorced or widowed. As objective journalists, we're going to have to insist that those percentages are, at most, a correlation. And hey, if it's a cause and effect scenario in your case, you're better off without those Philadelphia Weekly readers anyway.

1,127 Number of City Paper issues, according to my calculations, that have been produced over the years. That probably took like half a million trees, CP. And you call yourself progressive. (Editor's note: Nick, your calculations blow chunks. Check the front cover. This is actually issue #1115.)

2,332:1 Current reader-to-staff ratio, based on the Media Audit's "Most Often" readership figure of 291,500, and the 125 editors, writers, photographers, illustrators, managers, directors and interns who make CP available to you, dear reader. Please, keep picking up our paper. But only one at a time.

Expect The Unexpected
25 Years of Memorable Stories
"Behind The Lines"
"The Taking of Northern Liberties"
"Moonrise Over Philadelphia"
"Looking For Mr. Good-Dad"
"The Truth About Mince"
"The Downshouter"
"Behind Closed Doors"
"The Gray and The Bloodless"
"How To Harry"
"Tape Head"
"My Baby"
"Phillyspeak"
"Heroin Highway"
"Violent Femmes"
"Stakes Is High"
"Waxing My Girl"
"Delilah's Exotic Dancer Of The Year Pageant"
"Ground Xero"
"Mortal Combat"
"Nothing Will Ever Be The Same"
"The Transit of Venus"
"Marketing 215"
"How They'll Lose"
"The Big Miedo"
"Battle of the Sexless"
Time Lapse
People To Watch (Over The Next 25 Years)
Don't Make Us Pop A Cap(sule) In Yo' Ass
Attack of the Killer Freebies
The Bell Curve: 25th Edition
From Blank Screen to Orange Box
Dear Fuckers
Tales From The Truck
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The City Paper Freelancer Hall of Fame