"The Downshouter"

By Michael McGettigan - March 15, 1985

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Published: Sep 28, 2006

For three years, Michael McGettigan prowled the pages of City Paper as "the Downshouter." The column was named for a union tradition: When a union was on strike, and company reps came into the union hall with a contract offer, the "downshouter" was expected to figure out what was wrong with the offer and publicize his findings. Here is the very beginning of the very first edition of the column. A point of clarification: The ellipses in the second paragraph do not denote omissions from the story. They were right there in the original version — perhaps to indicate the author pausing to catch his breath.

A few Fridays ago, I read of top cop Gregor Sambor's order ending an old, much-hated Philly custom: the bar closing checks. One of the last teeth left in the old Blue Laws dinosaur, the procedures — depressing, Big Brotherish rituals that required police to go in & arrest anyone found behind a bar after 2 am (3 am in clubs) — were finally yanked, a move prompted not by common sense, but by the recent well-publicized police payoff indictments. Said payoffs were alleged to've come off in the wee hours, in clubs with a propensity for serving liquor later than our Quaker forefathers thought wise. I dropped into one of my favorite clubs to see the ruling's effect on the public, if any. No decline in public morality was evident, & morale was on the rise. Ordering up another tonic (at 4:05 am!) I reflected that all the hotels, hangouts & nightspots in the world can't give a city sparkle if they're closed. Mayor Goode recently hosted a forum on "strategies for achieving a 24-hour cycle in the city's core." Sambor's order is, like it or not, the first practical step toward that goal.

...I had a spot of bother attempting to secure tavern owners' opinions on the above ... I started out at Houlihan's Olde Place (it's that new place by Rittenhouse Square), wherein the barkeep told me I couldn't speak to Houlihan "'cause there was no such person." I betook myself crosstown to Bennigan's. "He's not here, sire, I think that's just a name, sir." ... I pressed on to JJ Muggs ... "Where's JJ?" "You mean JJ Muggs? What're ya, a wise guy?" Exit stage left ... Space prohibits describing the humiliating results at O'Hara's, Weatherby's, O'Grimleys Extremely Olde Place, & a score of other "colorfully" named joints ... Finally I came to rest in a little establishment that I knew in my bones was named after a real live person. But I kept quiet & didn't ask for Ronald McDonald.

McGettigan went on to write for numerous publications, and is also the owner University City's Trophy Bikes. "If people have the slightest interest in what I'm up to now," he says, "they can check out mcget.com in January."

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