Cradle of Love

Adult babies and diaper lovers are the new town criers — so what's all the fuss about?

by Ashlea Halpern

"As emotional and comforting as it is, there is certainly a very erotic and sexual element," explains Miguel. "But everything revolves around being taken care of."

In psychobabble circles, Miguel's need or desire to act like a helpless child is called paraphilic infantilism; the age-regressive role-playing may or may not be coupled with diaper use. Known on the Internet as adult babies (ABs), diaper lovers (DLs) or a combination thereof (AB/DLs), the phenomenon has gotten press (and punch lines) on Jerry Springer and other reputable talk shows.

For his part, the bi-curious Miguel takes the AB dynamic one step further with gender play. As a "sissy AB" named Michelle, he enjoys wearing little girl Lolita outfits: short skirts, pink sweaters and frilly bonnets.

Before we dissect the WTF factor here, let's bulldoze a few misconceptions: Infantilism has nothing to do with pedophilia. A handful of fringe deviants in the AB/DL community have been known to talk sex 'n' kiddies, and their asses were excommunicated faster than their little hard drives could download dirty diaper shots. Moreover, most AB/DLs have day jobs and families and friends just like the rest of us — regardless of whether or not they wear nappies under their khakis on Casual Friday.

The AB business is booming. Sites like ForeverAKid.com sell adult-size cribs, rocking cradles, bibbed rompers, footed pajamas, onesies with snap crotches and satin mitts with rosette detailing (for the "bondage baby").

At their core, ABs want to be coddled and doted on, wrapped in a blankie and held against a mommy figure's breast. But good mommies are hard to find. Miguel recently encountered a New Jersey woman who seemed interested in adult babysitting. She was in her 40s — a bit older than he would've liked — but hey, babies can't be choosers. After a phone conversation, Miguel realized she was either a hooker or a pro-domme. He ended the chat right quick. "I feel like I don't have to pay for it," he says, with a glimmer of hope in his voice. "If I work hard enough, I can find the right person."

ABs may also be seeking escape from depression, guilt, responsibility or other "adult" problems. By voluntarily relinquishing control of speech, movement, emotions and even bladders, ABs can regress to a state of complete vulnerability. This is particularly enticing to submissives.

Miguel used to stage public "accidents" when he was out and about. Nowadays, he represses most of his AB/DL inclinations for fear of being defined by them. "Whenever a grown adult acts like anything but a grown adult, people think it's alien and immoral," he sighs. "They think it's just not right."

Some ABs dream of a utopian world where they can totter around in padded diapers and ride in the fronts of grocery store shopping carts — without fear of public ridicule or punishment. (OK, maybe a spanking.) But until that day comes, Miguel and company keep the fantasies all bottled up.