Icepack

Amorosi on the news, gossip and bitchiness beat.

by A.D. Amorosi

I'm not fretting Halloween. You guys made it simple. Costume? Bleach my skin albino-whitish, dye my hair reddish, contact-lens my eyes, stuff my pants with tween porn mags — volia — I'm Muhammad Shaukat. As for your mother, sister and wife, I fucked them years ago. Where'm I going? After I hit Five Spot Phil Cohen's pumpkin patch at Ninth and Catharine (he was BBQing ribs and serving cider the other day) I'll be at the Doubletree for Henri David's delicious usual-usual. It was originally booked at the Sheraton City Center (ex-Wyndham at Franklin Plaza), "but they wouldn't tell people [inquiring about the party] over the phone what was going on," says David of his 38th annual ball. "So I took it away." That's where I want to be Oct. 31 — someplace with attitude. Plus I want to see how many queens dress like rumored honoree Joan Collins who's in town for Legends! I only regret I can't make it to Pleasure Garden for their Hallow-Kink Ball Oct. 28. They're advertising on-premise cig-smoking and dildo-bobbing. I fuck you mother big time.

► Wanna see Tony Catastrophe, Eric Vincent or Chris Jones in dresses? You don't. You can't. That's why they brought in Philly's two bestest soulfulest prettiest singer/scatters Ryat (from Kilo) and Ashley Phillips for Curve Dominant Studio's Last Monday event at Bar Noir. The Oct. 30 Mischief Night jawn with Come Dionysus from L Cast, joo-know? And hostess Needles Jones'll be dolled up too. Which reminds me: Needles, Milton & the Devil's Party, LotSix and Samantha Barrow perform in the "Santorum Scares Me!" Halloween cabaret/Philly Against Santorum benefit Oct. 28 at Ortlieb's. What's scarier than Santorum? Moonfire Tower — ex-pat Philly painter, drag singer, troublemaker — who'll do a fashion show there that night. It's been a while since Moonie's been around or in our column. Expect mentions. Expect a Camp Squirt reunion.

► Here's a fun fact: We hear The Marvelous — ye olde CD/comix shoppe in U-City — bought the entire lock-stock-and-smoking catalog of Spaceboy when the latter went out of biz. And they're vulturing other soon-to-go CD salons.

► Want to see King Britt make more money? Check World Café Live's once-monthly friend (that sounds messy!) selling Logic Pro and Power Macs at www.apple.com/pro.

► From the clusterfuck of people that brought you Hung on a Blonde Ponytail and Kiss of the Spider Woman at Society Hill Playhouse, it's Bckseet Productions' take on Ed Albee's Zoo Story at 507 S. Eighth's Red Room through Nov. 18. Do that.

► When was the last good coffee war? There might be one when Starbucks plants a rumored toweringly tony klatch on S. 19th St., suspiciously too-near La Colombe's home base off da Square.

► Ex-Opus 251 chef Anthony Bonett may be a picture of suave now. But when A-Bo partners with Peter Mooradian for their link in The Oceanaire Seafood chain, Oct. 30 at the grand 700 Walnut St. address, I'mo remind him about our sweating punk-rock past — vicious house parties, East Side Club, yahoo.

► Thom Lessner's pop rap-attack with Amanda Blank Sweatheart debuts its live backing band, The Toddlers (hey Dave Papp), with Sri Slava (Man Man exes) for Space 1026's costume-balling Rave Cave Oct. 28.

► Philadelphia Casting just opened a Parisian division of its actorly enterprise at 15 Sentier des Pendants 94500 Champigny with a man named "Edwardo." (But with the last name "Flaherty." 'Zat seem weird?) Is French film clamoring for Philly actors? Are we clamoring for the French?

► Richard Linklater didn't tell me this when he was here for Fast Food Nation interviews last week. But the soundtrack to his stomach-churner will be on Philly's Park the Van with three tunes from Dr. Dog. Ruff.

► When David Carroll celebrated the birthday of the wedding singer/real-estate agent he manages, Erika Schiff (at North with Union Dead in tow) the former Hot Club owner reminded me of another band he once managed, Russ Goetz's Warm Jets, and how this week's first WJ show since 1980 at Khyber (the Sickidz finale with possible guest Ben "Sal Mineo's Only Son" Vaughn) was special. "Oct. 28 was the date for the second of two Hot Club shows with Sid Vicious in 1978." Sid's gal, Nancy Spungen, got killed Oct. 12. Sid was, hmm, momentarily detained. "I still have the posters." If Goetz is Jetting it with ex-members of Pure Hell and Ben Wah Torpedos, how long can it be before Leo Eisenstein's Duct Tape, another Carroll band, re-unites?

► WHOWHATWHERE: 50 Cent and Tony Yayo stopped at the Villanova Pavillion for a little B-ball scrimmage last Friday. Patti LaBelle apparently ate (not loudly or nuthin') a big ole chicken Caesar salad while Natalie Cole performed at World Café Live.

► When Scott Johnston asks for vampire thugs Oct. 29 (at the former Poor Henry's, 800 N. American) do it. Not only because he needs extras for his HD-shooting series T.H.U.G.S. Unlimited. Because, the director/illustrator/producer stands a shot in getting this thing in the face of some major Hollywood faces (I hear HBO, Showtime and ThinkFilms). Marc Brodzik and Andrew Repasky McElhinney auctioned off stuff at Five Spot to raise money for T.H.U.G.S. to shoot its good 'n' evil/gamma-radiation/cosmic-beings/great-beyond/blah-blah-blah 22-minute pilot starring its authors Ish Klein and Kevin Pfluger. "This one has it all — comedy, romance, intrigue, action, motorcycle thefts, and of course, implied sex," says Johnston, who even got Dana Snyder (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) to appear. "We're shooting this with the hope that it will be the best no-budgeter ever," exclaims Johnston. Be there. For him. Because. He's there. For you.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)