The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

In what FBI calls the biggest area heist in years, two crooks rob a PNC Bank on Bustleton Avenue, making off with around $400,000. Then, Teabag grabbed the backpack full of cash, bought a truck and escaped with all the loot. Plus 1

Northeast resident Wayne Derkotch pulls a gun on his son's football coach during a game. Here's to you, totally batshit Northeast dad — you're living our Falling Down dream. Minus 2

The state House of Reps approves legislation allowing Philadelphia to enact its own campaign-finance laws. Oh, man, these are gonna be good. Plus 6

City Council candidate Carol Campbell, who anticipates victory on Nov. 7, hires lawyer Edward C. Wright as her chief of staff. Salacious Crumb reportedly "stunned." Minus 1

Councilman Jack Kelly admits that there are more pressing problems than his proposed foie gras ban, but insists that he is "not ducking this issue." Kelly then added, "I'll have to check the web. Put it on my bill. Don't blame me if you can't quack it. And if you have any problems, talk to my lawyers at Mallard Spahr." Even

PhiladelphiaEagles.com inadvertently records and posts locker room video of cornerback Joselio Hanson in various states of undress. McNabb, seeing that Hanson is not wearing an Eagles jersey, instinctively throws the ball to him. Plus 2

Peter Forsberg receives an Outstanding Achievement award from the locally based American Swedish Museum. It's a golden hex wrench. Plus 1

The Academy of Natural Sciences begins selling gems and minerals to raise money for the library. Opens new "annex" at 10th and Market, announces "Bling Out with Bastnasite" sale. Even

Total Pluses: 10
Total Minuses: 3
This Week's Total: 7
Last Week's Total: -5