Choice Sidebar: Feuds

Seven bitter feuds.


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Published: Nov 1, 2006

The Vince of Darkness vs. the Tower of Darkness

Before asking anyone living in Fairmount's historic row homes what they think about sharing a skyline with a 47-story condo, you'd better take some self-defense lessons. In a neighborhood where homeowners need permission to build roof decks and garden trellises, the proposed Barnes Tower is an unwelcome intruder. But if developers get their way, the high-rise will take the place of the dumpy two-story Best Western Hotel at 22nd Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, casting what neighbors say will be a literal and figurative shadow on the neighborhood known for its walk-ups, townhomes and brownstones. Sen. Vince Fumo, a Fairmount resident, is so mad that lawmakers in Harrisburg are bracing themselves for another one of his notorious name-calling sessions. —Natalie Hope McDonald

Larry vs. Alycia

When the cameras go live, don't Channel 3 co-anchors Larry Mendte and Alycia Lane seem like the awesomest of chums? Well guess what, folks: For years now, we've been hearing that the two loathe each other with a capital L. Like, enough to storm off in opposite directions the moment the 11 p.m. news is over, not to speak again until the next show. All because she thinks he has too big an ego. And he thinks she couldn't read a calendar without a cue card. You want ratings, CBS? Four simple words: Live. Steel. Cage. Match. —Brian Hickey

Monocle-Wearing Rich Folk vs. Political Posters

Society Hill residents have their knickers in a bunch over the gaudy political banners hanging at 305 S. Third St. An eyesore since 2003, the billboard-sized posters prompted neighbors to seek intervention from L&I, which makes this the best chichi temper tantrum in decades. At the final bell, the right to a beautiful, desecration-free community was K.O.'d by homeowner Jamin Potamkin's right to defile his private property with self-aggrandizing phony gubernatorial campaign ads. —Jesse Delaney

Joey vs. Jonny

Sure, the frontmen said they made up a couple weeks ago, but oh how Philly media folks have awaited the upcoming Phawker-Philebrity smackdown. For too long, the "cityblog" Philebrity has made witty remarks at the expense of every outlet in town, without anyone pointing out editor Joey Sweeney's numerous slurs and half-truths because we all (mistakenly) think we're above that. But now, along comes someone with no such illusions: ex-Philebrity editor Jonathan Valania has founded his own blog, Phawker, and just as soon as he did, the invective began to fly. In a Daily News column, Dan Gross quoted Sweeney saying that Valania's blog is about his "bruised ego." Valania fired back: "He needs to realize that he didn't invent the Internet in Philadelphia." Oh my. Is it possible we're going to have to root for Sweeney? (www.philebrity.com; www.phawker.com) —Doron Taussig

Jessica vs. Jennifer

Last September, Philly Mag demagogue/kewpie Jessica Pressler skewered filthy-rich chick lit scribette Jennifer Weiner — for being a filthy-rich chick lit scribette. Seriously, the article wasn't even that bad. It cheekily poked fun at Weiner's nerdy Connecticut upbringing, how she sniffed Cameron Diaz's pits when she first met her, and so forth. Weiner got pissed, mostly because we don't think she can handle reality. While I'm spouting truth: In Her Shoes made me feel like a woman for the first time. Wait, was that out loud? —Drew Lazor

Brian Howard vs. Automobiles

Deep breath. Why don't drivers use their turn signals?! Why? That's what they're there for! To let other motorists — and cyclists! and pedestrians! — know what you're about to do with your one-ton death missile. Drivers of Philadelphia, I beg you: Please use your turn signals! If I get almost driven into by someone who forgot to signal one more time, I swear to god I'm gonna fucking kill someone. With my U-lock, I'm going to fucking kill someone. —Brian Howard

Soon to Come: Medics vs. Medics

When a life-threatening ailment forces a 911 call, there's no escaping the price of an ambulance ride to the hospital. (We're talking hundreds, people.) In tightening times, we figure it's inevitable that area hospitals will begin milking this cash cow for all it's worth and the meat wagons will start trawling for victims. In the ensuing death race, 10th and Spruce streets will be the heart of an ambulatory turf war between drivers from Pennsylvania Hospital and Jefferson Hospital. May the streets run red with blood! —Jesse Delaney