Who do you want to pummel no, send to nonviolent timeout more: snot-slinging, energy-for-eons toddlers who bum-rush your shins like Trotter in the open field, or only-Panic!-At-The-Disco-understands-me adolescents with balls enough to presume they invented angst? (Wikisearch Nevermind, kids.) Screw it just buy them this stuff to shut their traps.

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Cow rocker (BoiKido), $85, at Born Yesterday, 1901 Walnut St., 215-568-6556

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Space Monkey action figure (Dalek), $100, at Cereal Art,149 N. Third St., 215-627-5060, www.cerealart.com

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Stuffed owl doll by James Olstein $25, at Mew Gallery, 906 Christian St., 215-625-2424, www.mewgallery.org

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Bayhouse (Papo), $199.99, at Pun's Toy Shop, 839 1/2 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-525-9789

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Sound Seat with dual speakers and subwoofer (Pyramat), $149.95, at The Sharper Image, 1518 Walnut St., 215-732-2390, www.sharperimage.com

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Sleepy Princess and the Pea game (HABA), $24, at Busy Bee Toys, 38 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-345-6070

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Dig It archaeology kit (Action Products), $32.99, at Adventure Aquarium, One Aquarium Dr., Camden, N.J., 856-365-3300, www.adventureaquarium.com

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Garden table (not pictured) and chairs with umbrella (KidKraft), $179, The Baby's Room, 200 Bala Ave., Bala Cynwyd, 610-664-1000, www.thebabysroom.com
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