Extra Silver Lining, Anyone?

by Brian Hickey

Mornin'. I'd say it was a good one, but I just woke up to the soothing sounds of a PGW crew jackhammering across the street as if it wasn't 8 a.m. the day after the Eagles season ended. Which just also happened to be the one-year anniversary of my mom's death. Which is to say my head was already being jackhammered by oxygen withdrawal courtesy of a Jaeger-drenched, mind-erasing Sunday at the bar.

But before I let bleary-eyed hatred subvert my soul and launch me into a tirade about those &*$&^#(%$&@#* utility workers who make way too much noise way too early in the day, I'm forcing myself to think positive thoughts. Like how they'd actually performed a service since their loud conversations confirmed to a half-asleep me that Donovan McNabb's season-ending injury wasn't a dream. And how I'd like to think the work they're doing will, in some small way, improve gas service on the block. So thanks, guys. You really came through in a pinch! But c'mon, it's 1 p.m. now; ain't it about time y'all moved along?

So anyway, optimism is a rare commodity now, and I'm sure this week's cover package won't offer much of it, considering the joy the staff took in unburdening ourselves of all the things we hate, delivering the results to your neighborhood honor box just in time for Thanksgiving. But thank us later, since I'm starting to worry this column is going directly to the "there's no way you can remain positive for 800 words" file. Because I can't, especially after reading e-mails like the one I got from the Newspaper Guild this morning, titled "A Matter of Survival."

And I selectively quote (and pass judgment upon):

• The new owners of the Inquirer , Daily News are having an acute case of buyer's remorse. (It's so sad when the holier-than-thou rich get in over their heads.)

•... we quickly welcomed the new owners who professed a love for the highest standards of local, independent, hard-hitting journalism, and vowed to be a responsible employer-of-choice. ... Sounded good, maybe too good to be true. (Yes. It was.)

• In just a few short months, we now see spin trumping substance, efforts to demonize the workers as the turnaround master plan turns increasingly ugly, apparently aimed at gutting the Guild. (Guess that hiring freeze is still in effect, except for high-priced executives that seem to be arriving by the Humvee-load.)

• Competitors ... and even some of our critics from the ranks of government and business will candidly acknowledge that our newspapers are crucial to the flow of objective, in-depth news and information in our region. There is a reason that local electronic journalism begins its day with producers reading our newspapers for the whole story to determine what is really the big story of the day, from healthcare to education, business and sports. We are not only first with the news, we're factual, and that is a tribute to the editorial staffs and a system of checks and balances you won't find in many other newsrooms, let alone living-room blogs. (Good thing they included "many" in front of other newsrooms or I might have been enough of a prick to spend 800 words on stories that said staffs first checked and balanced in CP.)

With just 10 days to go until a potential strike that I'm being told isn't inevitable — this, even though Inky and Daily News hands are already busily readying picket signs and preparing to launch an online Guild newspaper should a new work stoppage join the strikes of 1977 (23 days) and 1985 (46 days) — ugly rhetoric is flying. That means the issues that actually make a difference in people's lives (no, not those who spend their days inexplicably vying to post the latest union e-mail online first) will be obscured by negotiation-speak.

Here's what's important to remember between now and Nov. 30: If the papers' reporting ranks, specifically the Inky's, are gutted, it will result in substantially less oversight of local government at a time when Philadelphians need it most. What's going on over at 400 N. Broad is bad for everybody, not just journalists and newshounds.

That said, positive me sees a nugget of hopeful advice buried in all this: Want to protect your investment, Tierney? You don't need an NHL-style implosion. Why not take a peek at the bloated ranks of editors or never-heard-from writers over at your flagship paper? Rather than lopping off the heads of the young talent worth reading, offer the dead weight buy-out packages they can't refuse.

That, according to someone who works over in your ivory tower, would be the "humane, Christian" approach. And that, according to a columnist across town with a splitting headache, is the only way these papers can adapt to an uncertain future of which Philadelphia needs them to be a vibrant part, with or without you.

(hickey@citypaper.net)