Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

By the time you read this Allen Iverson may very well get his Christmas wish and be traded from the 76ers. I have one word: bye-mutha-fucka-good-riddaance- cock-suckah-n-don-let-the-door-slam-your- ass-on-the-way-out. Cuz seriously, what has Iverson ever done for the city except raise our b-ball expectations while simultaneously lowering our championship chances, possibly beat up his wife, and make stupid faces on those new Vitaminwater ads that I have to turn away from every time I see a bus. That just makes for bad driving, mang. Iverson gave Billy King a shoulder twitch so severe he can't make those natty suits look as sharp as intended. Wore those rows for much longer than one should (Ludacris took his out, AI!). Now, you might not like Old City, you fuckwits. (You will once more, trust me). But OC didn't get notorious until Iverson promoted despair and destruction, not only by getting his bony ass shot at on Second and Chestnut (and what about poor Larry Robinson, the wounded party/pal o' his Iverson wouldn't drive to the hospital? How's he feeling about Iverson leaving?), but by hosting "All Access Thursdays" at Dreemz, a club whose name ends in "z." And lastly, he (or rather Jewelz from the Cru Thik crew) tried to make a career in rap at the expense of "the gay community and women of the world" to whom he had to apologize for "40 Bars"' objectionable lyrics — to say nothing of having to apologize to critics like mahself for having to put me through the horror of Non-Fiction. I haven't forgiven Universal Records for that hip-hop hate crime yet. Nor have I forgiven the NBA for naming him MVP, unless it meant "Miserable Vile Putz." So bye-eee, AI.

► Speaking of OC, the Hall of Decadence that was once Revival (eventually Dead Fred's — but that wasn't former owner David Cohen's fault) and got sold off as we reported in July to NYC's WebLinc opened its first-floor doors in November to National Mechanics — a really big bar. It was our understanding that the space was to remain a sort-of clubhauz to the ad agency/retailer. But notices to the contrary have surfaced. I'll let y'all know ASAP. And anyone still confuse Guillermo Veloso (recently exited exec chef at Cuba Libre, contractually bound till January) with Guillermo Pernot (Pasión!-owner now exec chefing at Cuba Libre)? Veloso is the guy who finally popped the cork on Cebu — that massive not-Rococo, not-world-fusion Filipino spot at Second and Chestnut. Plus he owns the Span-tapas Isla Ibiza on N. 3rd. Pernot may offer advice to the Frankowski fam (who have a piece of Cuba Libre) if they take over Olive in Cherry Hill as rumored.

► Schoolly D is off to Rome to act in and score Abel Ferrara's Go-Go Tales with Willem Dafoe, Bob Hoskins and Asia Argento.

► I have a new gripe. A lot of y'all bands get mad if I don't review records you worked a long time on, especially if they happen to get greaaat reviews in places like Pitchfork. To that I say, I ain't the music editor and suck my fork. And so I announce that my good friend Christopher Tucker — late of way-nifto reviewed The Situation — and his Meme solo project play Bar Noir's holiday hello Dec. 18 with perf-artsy robot Howard's Dilemma and L-Cast's sexy To the Moon.

► Heck, we like both these guys so we feel weird: PW's Neil Ferguson has been moved from his spot at Harp mag. Incoming: Fred Mills — an imaginary Philadelphian via his long relationship with Magnet mag — will now be Harp's managing editor from the mountains of North Carolina.

► Because weekly I hunt down out-the-way round-the-way sensations: Check Atlantis, the lost bar at Frankford and Cumberland. It's tough, tiny, ancient, smells of cabbage 'n' DiNoblis, and Chuck D of Phil Moore Brown 'n' Sugarsmack Daddy does magic on Sundays — sometimes with Latin records, sometimes with Baptist Preacher John Cecil Price .

► Since AKA Records' Mike Hoffman don't need on-line headaches (Luddite) and R5's concert co. needs to sell indie-kittens tix but can't let AKA suffer system crashes, R5 has pulled out of AKA amicably and will allow advance ticket sales online, over da phone and in new upcoming locales as soon as they convince three other suckas. Sike.

► I'll check with Ryan Soloby when I hit Upstairs at Sal's new Hurrah! party with DJs Josef K and Shawn R: Is Chromelodeon, the eight-man Game Boy band that Soloby — Sal's co-booker — heads closing shop after five years? DON'T DO IT.

► WHOWHATWHERE: Rit Row has all the luck. We heard word Clay Aiken supped at Davio's and had more than one dessert. Cockney actor Vinnie "Bullet Tooth Tony" Jones met comics Danny Ozark and Jon Connor when Jones, in town to shoot a movie he's calling Tooth & Nail, stopped at Bar Noir for its Notebooks 9.0. open mic Monday. We saw Christopher Kennedy Lawford of All My Children sweating like a goat in a too-heavy coat running along Walnut Street outside Alfa. Hmm. And while Sal Mazzotta's bud/star Leo Rossi hosted Chazz Palmintieri, Joe Piscopo and Billy Baldwin at his Way of the Wiseguy at Resorts Atlantic City preview (they showed up at 32 Degrees A.C. too), Mazzotta himself's busy on Passyunk Avenue shooting the third part of his thriller The Unknown with Robert Costanza (CSI NY) and Angie Everhart. Va and voom.

► Randall Grass hits home once more for Philly Gumbo's 25th anniversary New Orleans-lahk bash at World Café Live Dec. 17. And really, Grass was Philly's first world-music culture aficionado, the man who helped establish the Shanachie label and the man who put the "rue" into roots reggae. So do this.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)