Down the Hatch

There are fewer than 100 sword swallowers in the world. Lenore Patryn is one of them.

by Alex Richmond

There's a lot violence on TV, but rarely do we see it in front of our faces. And Jackass copycats notwithstanding, we remain saturated in, but physically isolated from, the truly heinous things people can do to themselves.

But there are some people left who think, "I wanna try that," and then they do. Lenore Patryn, just 24, is one of the youngest people in the world able to perform one of the most dangerous sideshow tricks: swallowing an 18-inch sword. She's 5 feet 3 inches tall. And she wants to swallow her sword in front of you, a live audience member. And you should let her. Because it isn't a trick. It's real, and the only way to really see something unbelievable is to see it live.

RARE AND RADIANT: "I saw her pound scissors into her face and thought, 'That's kinda cool,'" quoth Lenore Patryn. : Michael T. Regan

Patryn can also snort a condom (unlubricated) through her nose and retrieve it from her mouth. She can insert a long plastic tube through the same path, put one end in a glass of whatever and the other in a person's mouth and let that person drink through her head. She can pound a nail or a pair of scissors into her head through her nostrils.

Keeping sideshow history alive, and ensuring it remains a live art is Patryn's mission. And the soft-spoken, heavily tattooed woman has two methods. One is print. Her magazine, Alive on the Inside, debuts in January.

"There wasn't any kind of information that tells the history of sideshow," says Patryn. "It could be a great resource. This is around, and it should be preserved; it's a great part of American history."

The other part of her mission is live performance. Since her move from New Jersey to Philadelphia this past January, Patryn has been part of the live performances of Carnivalution at the West Philly venue, the Tiberino Museum, which stages sideshow events May through October.

"You can see it on the Internet and that's one thing," says Patryn, "but to see it in person is a rare experience. There is nothing that can compare to seeing it and doing it live, and seeing the audience reaction."

She first started practicing sword swallowing with a wire hanger, which is what they recommend at the Coney Island Sideshow School, the world's only formal training camp for sideshow performers.

"After a month I was able to get it into my stomach. I'm not going to lie, the sword is not sharp. It is prepared. It is not a severe risk. You can hurt yourself, it's going into your body, but it's something you work up to."

Of course, Patryn poked herself in the throat many times with the wire hanger. Now, she can swallow her blade easily; after one month of working with the hanger she was able to get the sword into her stomach in just half an hour.

To date, there are 77 people in the world registered as sword swallowers by the Sword Swallower's Association International. There are four or five in the world who can swallow a curved sword. Patryn herself is not yet registered, but she plans to be soon.

"I'm not on the list. I'm bush league," laughs Patryn, who has only been able to swallow her long sword since this past August. "You have a photo of yourself swallowing a sword, with a witness who is also a sword swallower. I have been meaning to do it. Barry Silver could be my witness."

Silver, a glass eater, fire blower and founding member of the Philadelphia sideshow troupe The Unholy Sideshow, specially treated her sword to give it a less-dangerous edge. Patryn saw her first sideshow act on the postmodern circus: a TV talk show. Not on Jerry Springer, but rather she saw sideshow performer Katzen on Ricki Lake.

"I was 17 years old, the classic disaffected teen. I saw her pound scissors into her face and thought, 'That's kinda cool. I can do that,'" says Patryn. "And I learned."

Since August, Patryn has booked a handful of gigs; she can do up to a half hour's worth of stunts. A few Mondays ago, on an unseasonably mild December evening, Patryn led a group of men in suits and ties to Rittenhouse Square and swallowed an 18-inch sword just for their amusement. And for a nominal fee.

"It's easy for me to travel with my — I hate calling them props, but that's kind of what they are," says Patryn. "If anyone's having a party, they can get in touch with me. I love doing it. I'm fairly flexible."

(a_richmond@citypaper.net)

To book Patryn for an event, submit a contribution to her magazine, or find out when and where she's performing next, e-mail her at infektiouswaste@yahoo.com.