The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Eagles secure playoff spot with decisive 23-7 victory over Dallas on Christmas Day. And hey, who put that Jeff Garcia statue on the Art Museum steps? Plus 7

Homicide count jumps to 402 over Christmas weekend. "They said no one would hit 400 again," says Commissioner Johnson. "This was just one of those magical seasons." Minus 10

Chicago opens at the Merriam starring Tom Wopat and Melba Moore. Or, as we like to call them, Luke and Toast. Plus 1

Woman stabs Spring Garden man with hairpin. "You do not fuck with my dogs," says Patti LaBelle. Minus 1

Mayor Street and Governor Rendell lead carolers in song at the Philadelphia Gay News holiday party. Especially touching were the Mayor's rendition of "We Twee Kings" and the Governor's "It Came Upon a Midnight Rear." Plus 2

Loan from Wachovia helps PMA/PAFA group keep The Gross Clinic in Philly. "Now we got you by both nuts," says Grand Moff Wachovia. Plus 5

Michael Nutter calls for weekly radio and TV debates between mayoral candidates. Aw. He's so sincere, ain't he? Plus 6

Pennsylvania Gaming Board approves slots licenses for Foxwoods and SugarHouse casinos. Minus 10

Waterfront development expected to be bolstered by slots parlors. Sure. Minus 10

Larry Brown may return to 76ers as "unofficial adviser" to team prez Billy King. "Just like when I was coach," says Brown. "Billy, I've gotten the craving for a pot pie." Plus 1

Total Pluses: 22
Total Minuses: 31
This Week's Total: -9
Last Week's Total: 2