ISSUE .
January 4th, 2007 other issues :
21st Annual City Paper Writing ContestThe Winner: Greetings from Lesotho
by April DobbinsToday, like most days, I loiter about the corner of 17th and JFK and smoke a scavenged cigarette.
21st Annual City Paper Writing ContestRunner-Up: Hindsight
by M.G. TarquiniIn this life, I have perfectly pressed panties. I'm thirty-three years old and my mother still irons my underwear. My sister, Angela, is twenty-seven. My brother, Joey, is thirty-six. Ma irons their underwear, also.
21st Annual City Paper Writing ContestRunner-Up: "Suit of Lights"
by Chad WillenborgIt's a warm evening tonight. The last snow in the parking lots has melted and run along the curbs for the drains, and Philadelphia, City of Spitters, feels cleaner.
Slant:
War by the NumbersWhat does life mean when the dead are just statistics?
by Nick NorlenThree numbers from last week's national news caught my eye: 93, 1/2 and 3,000. The first two refer to the age of former President Gerald Ford at the time of his death and the mast level of the flags flown while mourning him. The third quantifies a new and grim milestone: the number of American troops killed in Iraq since the war began.
Aces in the HoleFive ways to fight the casinos in 2007.
by Vern AnastasioOn Dec. 20, the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board ignored public opinion and awarded Philadelphia's two slots licenses to the lawyer and supporters of Sen. Vince Fumo and his allies on City Council.

Loose Canon:
Sticking It to ReportersMadame Privacy is a dirty, low-down bitch. Don't trust her.
by Bruce SchimmelAs a journalist, I do interviews two, three, four times a day. Still, when a reporter calls me with "just a few questions," the hair on the back of my neck rises and my ears burn.
Feedback:
Snowed UnderThere's nary a flurry in the forecast, but we've had our fair share of snow jobs this year.
by Shaun BradyWe look at five of the biggest pieces of nonsensical hoopla from the year just ended, find out what stories got shoved to the back pages to make room, decide whether their burial was intentional conspiracy and assess which was really the more important story.
Running NumbersA scholarly look at the digits that matter.
by Nick NorlenIn an effort to broaden my demographic in the new year, this edition of Running Numbers is dedicated to people completely unlike me.
IcepackAmorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.
by A.D. AmorosiIf you, like me, thought last week's Miami Manhunt, with Philly ex-top-cop John Timoney yet, was the A&E network's gayest-ever show title, then we're kicking off 2007 with dippy like minds.
The AdvocateHow can you defend a man where no law exists?
by Doron TaussigThis story delves into the intricate legal niceties and transmuting jurisdictional standards that face a man caught in the lawless void of military tribunals in an era of stateless war.
The Bell CurveCity Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
When news breaks in Philadelphia, we make jokes.

Political Notebook:
In and Out '07Tigre Hill, Jeff Guaracino, Log Cabin Republicans, John Street, Sylvester Johnson... Who's hot and who's not?
by Mary F. PatelOur guide to who's on the rise, and who's on the outs in Philly politics this year.
First Friday FocusLori Hill's First Friday hit list.
by Lori HillWhat's hot at PhotoWest Gallery, Gross McCleaf, Projects Gallery, Philagrafika and Gallery Siano
Culture Shock:
Art:
James Brown, dancerJames Brown's influence on the music world is legendary, but his unique and distinctive style of dance will also be sorely missed.
by Lewis WhittingtonLewis Whittington mourns the the dance world's loss.
Arts Picks:
Chita Rivera: The Dancer's LifeShe's a singer and actress, but it's those dazzling legs that made her a star.
by David Anthony FoxTue.-Wed., Jan. 9-10, 8 p.m., through Jan. 14, $25-$73.50, Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.
The World Is FlatFalling Cow Gallery's group show toys with the norms of painting by rejecting the rectangle.
by A.D. AmorosiOpening reception, Sat., Jan. 6, 6-8 p.m., exhibit through Jan. 27, Falling Cow Gallery, 732 S. Fourth St.
AegnapeaMap making, as old as exploration itself, continues to find new problems of common representation in modern times.
by Juliet FletcherThrough Jan. 21, Pageant: Soloveev Gallery, 607 Bainbridge St.
Rain: The Beatles ExperienceIf you thought The Beatles were old news, pick up any tabloid and note that the McCartney/Mills divorce is rocking the world. (Note too that it's Paul's world is anybody siding with Heather?)
by David Anthony FoxThu.-Sat., Jan. 4-6, 8 p.m., Sun., Jan. 7, 2 p.m., through Jan. 14, $34.75-$55, Academy of Music, Broad and Locust sts.

Last ChanceCatch It or Regret It
by Rachel FrankfordLightShowers and The Modern Seat; 42nd Street; Process and Collaboration: Celebrating 12 Years at 1315 Cherry St.
Arts Agenda Picks:
In The Event That...You Long to Relive Your Childhood
by Will DeanPuppet Uprising Presents: The Wonders of the World: Recite and Going Nowhere Sat.-Sun., Jan. 6-7, 7:30 p.m., suggested donation $5-$10, The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St.
Just Do ItWilliam Gallagher: When Dinosaurs Roamed New Jersey
by Rachel FrankfordThu., Jan. 4, 7:30 p.m., free, Barnes & Noble, 200 W. Rt. 70, Marlton, N.J.
Just Do ItRadio Gals
by Jessica LougheryRuns Jan. 4-28, $10-$25, Hedgerow Theatre, 146 W. Rose Valley Road, Media,
GalleriesGalleries are usually open Tuesdays through Saturdays; please call the gallery for exact days and hours. Receptions are denoted with Reception ART STAR GALLERY AND
Museums/ExhibitsMuseums and exhibits have varying schedules; please call for exact days, hours and prices. ABINGTON ART CENTER, 515 Meetinghouse Rd., Jenkintown, 215-887-4882. MARTHA KENT MARTIN,
Performing ArtsPlease call the phone number listed with the venue for specific dates, times and ticket information. dance HEADLONG DANCE THEATER FIRST FRIDAY SERIES Works old,
Readings/Book SigningsBARBARA EHRENREICH The journalist, historian, social critic and author signs and reads from her new book, "Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy,"
Now and ThenThe too-timely future of Children of Men.
by Sam AdamsSet in a dystopian future where human infertility has reduced hope for the species to a flickering ember, Children of Men is nominally science fiction, but it's neither scientific nor particularly fictitious.
Future DocAlfonso Cuarón on Children of Men's here-and-now sci-fi.
by Sam AdamsIf I hadn't just seen him get out of a cab, I'd swear Alfonso Cuarón had just rolled out of bed.
WhiffedPerfume misses by a nose.
by Cindy FuchsPerfume: The Story of a Murderer begins in a prison cell. Alone in the shadows, young killer Jean-Baptiste Grenouille (Ben Whishaw) awaits his execution.
Screen PicksMusical Brotherhoods from the Trans-Saharan Highway
by Sam Adams
ShowtimesAMC Orleans 8 , 2247 Bleigh St., 215-722-4262. Charlotte's Web (G) fri: noon, 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:30; sat: 10, noon, 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:30; sun:
Repertory FilmSend repertory film listings to tami.fertig@citypaper.net. AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-345-7855, www.amblertheater.org. Nanny McPhee (2005, U.S./U.K./France, 97 min.) Emma Thompson uses magic
Welcome to the World of TomorrowWe got to get over before we go under in '07.
by A.D. AmorosiA.D. Amorosi predicts the Philly future.
Reconsider Me:
Ray of LightThe Lemonheads
by M.J. FineWhen you look like Evan Dando, you can get away with a lot.
One Track Mind:
Young Jeezy feat. R. Kelly"Go Getta"
by Drew LazorYoung Jeezy is easily the most audacious member of the burgeoning "I'm not a rapper, I just relay my life experiences in rap form" species.
SoundadviceGet Out!
Black Dice; Ricky Skaggs; Diamond Nights; Get Rid of Your Winter Blues Festival; Emily Haines
Music Picks:
Mose Giganticus"Mose Giganticus sends the warning of humanity through the voice of technology."
by A.D. AmorosiThu., Jan. 4, 6 p.m., $10, Balcony at the Trocadero, 1003 Arch St.
Ursula OppensElliott Carter wrote the solo piano masterpiece Night Fantasies over the course of a year and a half, finishing just two months before the premiere in 1980.
by Peter BurwasserSun., Jan. 7, 3 p.m., $8-$16, Curtis Institute of Music, 1726 Locust St.
InfinienIf you think it's hard to tell whether Infinien's lyrics are more inspired by prog or New Age, you won't get a hint from the Philly quartet's music.
by M.J. FineSat., Jan. 6, 9 p.m., $8, with Devin Greenwood and Hezekiah Jones, The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave.
All AboardAnthony Bonett rocks the boat at The Oceanaire.
by Maxine Keyser"Darling, this is too, too divine!" I can't believe those words escape my lips as I enter The Oceanaire, but they're truly appropriate.
Small Bites:
Objet d'EatUArts grad student Amanda D'Amico uses kitschy quotations and black and white pictures of presidents' wives juxtaposed with red meat to comment on the food industry's tireless targeting of housewives.
by Amy StraussIf Martha Washington were alive today, she'd say, "I can not tell a lie. American beef is the best."
Feeding FrenzyRestaurants opening, closing and pending
by Drew Lazor>> NOW SEATING Thumper's East Falls Grill >> WAITING LIST "Yellow Bar," E's Passyunk
What's Cooking:
The Week In EatsThe Skinny, Warsaw in Wissinoming Night, Philly Cooks, Kitchen Workshop Classes
by Amy Strauss
Top 5:
Power Couples' Dinner PicksIt Takes Two
by Gary M. Kramer1) Ed and Midge Rendell; 2) Chaka Fattah and Renee Chenault-Fattah; 3) Paul Levy and Carrie Rickey 4) Maria Gallagher and Ray Didinger 5) Mark Segal and Jason Villemez
Watering Hole:
The Three Monkeys CafeIt's Where We Drink
by Will DeanNot many bars in the Great Northeast have much to do with antiques—the area is typically dominated by neon.

Agenda Lead:
Animal PlanetHighlights from the Pennsylvania Farm Show
by Rachel FrankfordSat.-Fri., Jan. 6-12, 8 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sat., Jan. 13, 8 a.m.-5 p.m, $5, Farm Show Complex & Expo Center, Cameron and Maclay sts., Harrisburg.
Agenda Picks:
Just Do ItAli Farahnakian's Improvisation Workshop
by A.D. AmorosiSat.-Sun., Jan. 6-7, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., $150, Connie's Ric Rac, 1132 S. Ninth St.
On The DLArtist Salon: Ayesha Rahim
by Jessica LougherySat., Jan. 6, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., free, Philadelphia Folklore Project, 735 S. 50th St.
Kids, etc.Big Fun for Little Ones
by Megan M. ErwinKidScience, Winterfest, Pirate Slumber Overnighter, My Neighbor Totoro, Hsiao Hsi Yuan Puppet Theater
In The Event That...The Pussycat Dolls Just Freakin' Canceled on Your Folks' 50th Anniversary Party
by Rachel Frankford2007 Party Expo Sun., Jan. 7, 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m., $2, Congregation M'Kor Shalom, 850 Evesham Rd., Cherry Hill, N.J.


Paper Doll:
Return to Fantasy IslandWhat happens when our fantasies come true?
by Ashlea HalpernMystery menage at a no-tell motel. Extreme submission. Cubicle cuckolding. Rape ... and that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Philadelphians' wildest sexual fantasies.