The Bell Curve
City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
Buzz Bissinger believes Tom Knox "overstates his accomplishments." "And now, it's time for me to fly my diamond-crusted space shuttle to the moon in search of cheese," says Bissinger. "Say a prayer for me, city." Even
Suspicious trash can halts SEPTA's Broad Street line. Also, plucky mailbox disrupts the El! Comely recycling bin shuts down West Philly trolleys! Minus 1
Wireless Philly offers free service trials to customers within its 15-mile test zone. In related news, lotion shortage in Wireless Philly's 15-mile test zone. Plus 2
Inner City Broadcasting axes employees of long-running WHAT 1340 AM, "The Voice of the African-American Community," last Friday. "Look at it this way," says corporate ax-man, "your MLK holiday has been extended indefinitely." Minus 5
Food Network star (and New Yorker) Bobby Flay defeats Delilah Winder in a mac 'n' cheese cook-off. Krafty son of a bitch! Minus 2
Michael Smerconish rumored to be filming a TV pilot for CNN. He'll play the part of Glenn Beck's pet turtle. Minus 3
According to report, Councilwoman Carol Campbell looks to rename Commodore John Barry Elementary after her father. WHO DOTH DISTURB THE COMMODORE?! Minus 1
State Sen. Vince Fumo may soon be indicted by federal grand jury in regards to corruption case. "'Twas I who summoned you, Commodore," says Fumo, hoisting his trident aloft. "Come! Come to the surface and defend me!" Minus 2
Eagles lose to Saints in New Orleans, eliminated from playoffs. Look at it this way, Eagles, your MLK holiday has been extended indefinitely. Minus 5
Total Pluses: 2
Total Minuses: 19
This Week's Total: -17
Last Week's Total: -1
Also In This Week's News Section
Opening Their Wounds
Ask A Candidate
Comments
Be the first to comment on this article.