NEWS

The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter


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Published: Jan 24, 2007

Dwight Evans wants state to take control of struggling, city-run PGW. Why? It's not so different from our struggling, city-run city. Even

Mayor Street blames violence partially on "a lack of 'love' in the city." Then he looked up "love" on Wikipedia, to make sure he was thinking of the right word. Minus 3

Head of school principals' union accused of misusing Teamster funds to pay for wife's cell phone bill, digital camera and other expenditures. Teamsters release statement: "Don't worry. We're handling this like we handled Hoffa. Only, his wife's digital camera is Hoffa. And his ass is Giants Stadium." Minus 2

Bob Brady officially announces plan to run for mayor. Jonathan Saidel announces plan to "eat Funyuns and watch Benson reruns." Even

John S. Carter, former head of the Independence Seaport Museum, accused of fraud to the tune of $2.4 million. At that moment, two dolphins broke through the surface of the Delaware, chirping excitedly. Carter stripped to a reveal a leather thong, and then, clutching his trident, leaped on the dolphins' backs and sailed far, far away to where the silly laws of the "land people" couldn't touch him. Minus 1

Gov. Rendell places Wachovia exec on city's School Reform Commission board. "Have you considered randomly charging students for just whatever?" she asks. "And how about creepy commercials nobody understands?" Even

Eagles sign Aussie football star Saverio Rocca as a punter. Sadly, the NFL strictly prohibits hiding the ball in one's pouch. Plus 1

Phillie Chase Utley receives seven-year, $85 million contract extension. Which pretty much guarantees the city will hate the guy in three, two, one ... Joe from Mayfair, you're on WIP. Yeah, thanks, first-time, longtime, y'know, what's the deal with this Utley bum? Plus 2

Total Pluses: 3

Total Minuses: 6

This Week's Total: -3

Last Week's Total: -17