The Bell Curve
City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
Police hunt for thieves who rob convenience stores by throwing scalding coffee or hot chocolate at employees. Coffee doesn't burn people, people burn people. With coffee. Also, sometimes people burn coffee. Minus 1
Dwight Evans spends $75,000 on TV spots; rivals Tom Knox and Bob Brady have spent $2 million and $600,000, respectively. "According to a double-blind university study, Dwight Evans is proven to work. Just take Dwight Evans. It's that simple." Even
Chaka Fattah suggests that the city turn control of airport over to private operators. "Perhaps my brother, Milton Fattah," he says. Even
Schools chief Paul Vallas calls for stronger anti-violence programs, "transitional" institutions for overage students. "Kinda like Gitmo, but with Saturday detention," says Vallas. Plus 1
Philadelphia Zoo tending to Junior, a newborn tamarin monkey. "He's a handful," says zookeeper. "Little bastard just loves matches." Plus 7
Gov. Rendell asks John Dougherty to consider running for state senator in light of Vince Fumo's legal woes. Because what the state senate needs after this disgraceful incident is the squeaky-clean image of an electricians' union boss. Even
Fox developing pilot for Philadelphia General, a nurse drama set in the city. Wherein the nurses work ridiculous overtime, pass out at the Irish Pub and wake up at Pat Burrell's place. Plus 1
SEPTA threatens to hike rates and decrease services unless state can resolve $100 million budget hole. "We're eager to help," says a state official. "But all we have is this 200 million dollar bill, and the head of SEPTA said they can't make change." Minus 3
Total Pluses: 9
Total Minuses: 4
This Week's Total: 5
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