Springing Forward or Falling Back?

Will Philly's new boss be the same as the old boss?

by Brian Hickey


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Published: Mar 6, 2007

The other night, after spending a few hours at a noble bar that hasn't heard of a certain smoking ban, The Who was rocking my iPod dock. I met the new boss and, yeah, he was reminiscent of the old boss.

So, I got to thinking: Old, his-party-in-power boss plunged a nation into one of those holy-type wars that could bring the end of times, right? Ergo, it's safe to assume that new, fighting-impeachment-whispers boss wouldn't be above pushing daylight-saving time up a few weeks to cheer people out of the winter doldrums. You know, to distract them from the damage he'd wrought.

Not that I'm against clocks springing forward. In fact, that's hot. It's just that when you spend a lot of time wallowing in political puddles, the rabbit hole and reality can become interchangeable. And that's when the conspiracy theories come in — like the other night.

Still with me? Good, because there's a point here: Two months from next Thursday, city voters will elect a new boss. And deep down inside, it would seem, most Philadelphians don't want him to be like the old boss. (Sadly, not even if he'd drape himself over a casket and sing like a bloated angel.) Yet if polls — and a status-quo machine that fends off well-intentioned, better-qualified challengers — are to be believed, new boss won't be all that different than old boss.

Which means new Philadelphia won't be all that different than old Philadelphia. Not hot. Especially when you consider the results of this week's Economy League of Greater Philadelphia poll that found that Philadelphians are "unhappy with services [and] distrusting of city government." Not only that, but 21 percent of those polled ranked the mayor as unfavorably as they could. Zero on a scale of 10. Egads.

Neither stat surprised me, though. Street? As wrong as it is, he never had a chance in some corners after the "brothers and sisters" comment. Besides, people always find fault with those currently in power (old boss), the grass always being greener elsewhere (new boss), and all.

What made me do a double-take was the question, "How would you rate Philadelphia as a place to live?" The choices: Excellent, Good, Only Fair, or Poor. The results: 53 percent went with Excellent or Good while 46 percent said Only Fair or Poor. Factor in the margin of error, and it becomes 49.5-49.5. A push. Only the bookie wins.

Maybe that can be written off to the fact that 802 random residents felt like venting. Even so, one of Philly's charms is the fact that the people who live here love living here and, when push comes to shove, unite with anybody from here to fend off insults and attacks from any outsider. For all its faults, I figured, few Philadelphians would go the "only fair" or "poor" route. Wrong.

But since the days are about to get longer and sunnier, and the people happier, I'd like to share the results of an ÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¼ber-scientific poll I conducted a few weeks back. The question: "What do you love about Philadelphia?" After 25 calls to numbers picked at random from the phone book (22 "no" answers and three "not interested"s), I narrowed the sample size to "any Hickey in the phone book."

In retrospect, I should've seen the Economy League results coming.

First up was "Lynn," who is married to a city employee in the Northeast. They live within the city limits only because they have to. Otherwise, Lynn said, it'd be off to the 'burbs, where schools, homes and lives are better. (You know, kind of like our sellout editor — see page 4.)

"Nothing's coming to mind," she offered. "We're kind of stuck here, but it's doable."

Next came another Northeast woman who initially declared, "There's a lot of things" to love. Such as? "Well, I really don't know." (Should that go into the "excellent" column?)

Through some having-multiple-lines glitch, the next call was Lynn again. Just 10 minutes removed from packing up the truck, she'd had time to think: "The Eagles. I bleed green! Oh, and my husband said cheesesteaks."

John Hickey, 59, a born-and-bred Port Richmonder who now lives in Burlholme, told me the world is going to hell in a foreign-made handbasket; back in the day there were jobs, the aircraft-engine manufacturer told me, but now, "people are starving to make money. Can't even give a kid a paper route today!" Translation: I'm trying to move out of town, too. To the shore, actually.

So, an hour in and we got the Birds, a heart-attack-on-a-roll and the front of the line to leave town; evolved people, we Philadelphians. Which is why we should thank our respective God for 88-year-old Tom Hickey, who might sound as if he's old, boss, but could teach a lot to whoever becomes new boss.

"Philly is my town! I love it here. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else," explained Tom, who left for college and the war before meeting a "Philly girl" and dropping anchor. "A lot of people are negative about things in Philadelphia. ... You know, I don't think a lot of people fully appreciate what they have here."

(hickey@citypaper.net)