This is like Tokyo, upon being ravaged by Godzilla, not being able to enact its own Giant Lizard Legislation.

The only thing that stands between Philadelphia and another year without a title is a baseball team with about 10,000 losses and a bullpen with more leaks than the vice president's office.

I recently previewed some TV ads that made me feel great about Philadelphia. Set in realistic, even gritty Philly neighborhoods, the three spots feature three local kids, moving as deftly as dancers and speaking with the power of prophets.

Reader Raeann Drew to all the journalists out there: Five-year-old girls unfortunately get murdered every day, and it's easy to write an article about how you don't know how to cover something, so get up off your ass and find something that is actually worth more than a smile or a frown when your reader fucking reads it!

Nick Norlen: For the love of god, Citizens Bank Park, please defeat the sequined menace.

No one discussed whether he should be mayor, but rather whether he wanted to run because if he ran, he would win.

While many newcomers are too bright-eyed to stand a chance once the vote's gotten out, this 51-year-old Temple University professor has nary a windmill at which to tilt.

When candidates raise more than $250, they must authorize their committee within 20 days.

Nothing says springtime in the Philly underworld like a sleazy sex scandal.

Despite what any commercial says, nothing truly stays in Vegas. (Except most of your money.)

Lippman has spent a career making crime feel real to readers, both in her award-winning Tess Monaghan series, and lately, in a run of scorching stand-alone novels.

The Office I love The Office. I dream about selling paper for Dunder-Mifflin. Starting at the top, Michael Scott would be the best boss ever

Generic Elizabethan-sounding music is bad enough, but I soon missed it when it was replaced by contemporary folkish music (Enya, Sting and even the theme from Chariots of Fire).

In the first moments of In the Continuum, two women clad in black tights play a children's game. The action seems contrived in an overearnest, collegiate-acting-class way.

John Cariani's evening of connected short plays, premiered locally by the Act II Playhouse, paints rural Maine as a magical place (the way Northern Exposure idealized Alaska).

Karl Hanover's Iago seethes through his smiling servitude. Some Iagos are likable because of their own malicious glee, but this one's cold to the core.

The Desperate Housewives are all about changing their circumstances, but the trapped spouses in The Domestication of Women: A Housewares Party in Two Acts, choose to wallow in despair.

I'm no fan of lavish Broadway excess, but I didn't mind the brilliantly produced Spamalot — all its glitz and gimmicks are employed to satirize the sensationalism I find so distasteful.

For their last visit, Sydney Dance Company was forced to perform without their large sculptural set piece: It had been detained by the Department of Homeland Security.

In tribute to the beloved American diva Anna Moffo, Curtis Opera Theatre presents two performances of one of her happiest recorded vehicles, Puccini's bittersweet 1917 operetta La Rondine (The Swallow).

For Philly dancer/choreographer Melisa Putz, drama can come from the smallest of movements, the tilt of her head or the rolling of a shoulder.

"We saw so much talent behind the bars," says Golden. "Some of these people are lifers, but it doesn't mean that they can't be connected to the community."

Carolus Linnaeus, the Swedish scientist who gave everything (himself included) a Latin name, is turning the big 3-0-0 this year.

What nicer way to spend the first beautiful weekend day of spring than in the dark bowels of a radioactive mineshaft with half a dozen flesh-eating, soldier-raping members of the Toxic Avenger Lookalike Club?

Long before Gnarls Barkley broke, Jill Cunniff and her crew boosted an ex-Sixer power forward's name for their forward-thinking funk-pop hybrids.

There's much to love about Menomena. Their name is fun to say repeatedly. Do it now, five times.

Trombonist Daniel Blacksberg settled back in his native Philly last year and has since imported a host of impressive friends.

You know how Tarantino and Rodriguez's Grindhouse is a slicker, gorier version of the bloody B movies that inspired it? That's how Zach Hill and Spencer Seim fashioned Hella's new There's No 666 in Outer Space.

Look up "piano trio" in your Funk and Wagnalls, and the now-over-half-century-old Beaux Arts Trio should be pictured.

"Holding on to dignity is one of the hardest things to do in hip-hop, especially right now," says Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson.

Kingdom of Magical Extinctions Food Show | Cooking with Isla Ibiza | Philly Zombie Crawl | City Tavern Easter Meals

1) Literary Agent Clare Pelino 2) Food stylist Katrina Tekavec 3) Food Smeller Marcia Levin Pelchat 4) Food Taster/Consultant Dan Macey 5) Food Biographer Carolyn Wyman

A seat at the bar — preferably one that's close to the taps — is what every serious drinker longs for.

Billy Collins is a genius. Not because he's one of our country's finest poet laureates ('01-'03). And not because he knows rock singers are all amps, guitars and pretty-boy smiles.

Walk Against Hunger | Fabric Swap Meet | Popped! Festival | Spelldown | National Youth Service Day

Jean-Luc Godard summed up Orson Welles' importance with a single remark: "Everyone will always owe him everything."

The folks behind Backseat pride themselves on premiering edgy, underground movies featuring lots of sex, booze, zombies, sexy zombies, sex with zombies, drunken zombies, drunken sex and every other imaginable combination therein.

Dog people meet up at Rittenhouse, cat ladies man-bash together, and even ferret enthusiasts share a stinky camaraderie. But what about the friends of the feathered?

The Hobbit | Elephun Days at the Zoo | I Dream a World ... | Growing Up, American Style | Make and Take Cartoon Workshop|

Death, death and more death. That's what you see when you watch news about Iraq. But what about the people stationed overseas who are very much alive?