A Madness to End All Madness

It's Pierre vs. The Mummers in the finals of our best-of-76 bracket.

Things just keep getting crazier. The Final Four round of City Paper's Philly Madness, the round that eliminated Cheesesteaks and The Phillie Phanatic, drew 71,088 votes at www.citypaper.net. That round sent WMMR jock Pierre Robert and everyone's very favorite feathered banjo players The Mummers to the final stage of this six-week battle royale. At press time, just a day and a half into voting, we've received more than 79,000 clicks, with your yeoman Mummers jumping out to a healthy, but not insurmountable, 53 percent to 47 percent lead over Pierre. (Visit www.citypaper.net/phillymadness to cast your vote.)

wmmr.com (CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION)

For the last time this year, bracketologists Nick Norlen and Brian Howard stayed up late on Monday night for a little IM analysis.

Nick Norlen: It's pretty close now. Like 52/48 Pierre. [Editor's note: Robert lead at the time.]

Brian Howard: 20,000 votes already. The Mummers have been, surprisingly, using MySpace to strum up support.

Nick Norlen: Well it looks like the two that ran an Internet campaign have made it to the final.

Brian Howard: Found this on the Durning String Band's MySpace: "While you're at it, why not consider voting for 'Cheesesteaks' over 'Pierre Robert' so when we make it to the final round, we're not battling all of WMMR's huge audience?!?!"

Nick Norlen: So they knew they'd have a fight with Pierre.

Brian Howard: Pierre outpolled the Mummers in the Final Four round by more than 10,000 votes. Which is either a testament to Pierre's strength or The Phillie Phanatic's.

Brian Howard: I see this one going down to the wire. I see Mummers staying up all night developing carpal tunnel.

Nick Norlen: Is there any intelligence on just how many Mummers there are?

Brian Howard: I don't think the FBI releases that kind of information.

Nick Norlen: Now that the "primary" rounds are over, will CP endorse a winner?

Brian Howard: I think that since we run the polls here, we need to maintain neutrality ... even if we'd really love for the Mummers to not win.

Nick Norlen: I've certainly never said anything along those lines.

Brian Howard: I was speaking strictly hypothetically.

Nick Norlen: Hypothetically as in, Cabinet positions when Pierre is crowned the victor?

Brian Howard: I would love to be Secretary of Jam Bands.

Nick Norlen: Director of the Department of Vinyl Cuts, here I come!

Brian Howard: Undersecretary for the Department of Patchouli Security.

Nick Norlen: Ambassador to the 'MMarchives.

Brian Howard: Vice Pierre?

Nick Norlen: The thought!

Nick Norlen: Seriously, though, the views expressed by the Philly Madness selection committee do not represent the views of City Paper or its advertisers.

Brian Howard: This is very true.

Brian Howard: So while Philly Madness Champion is mostly a ceremonial position, what do we see from a reign from either finalist?

Nick Norlen: On-air gloating. Perhaps a rock-block of songs about victory in multi-entity fantasy tournaments.

Brian Howard: Man, I love those kinds of songs.

Nick Norlen: Dude, I'll make you a mix.

Brian Howard: Suh-weet!

Nick Norlen: If I had to speculate about a Mummers reign, I would probably imagine the mass slaughter of their critics.

Brian Howard: Who might they be? I mean, I can't think of even one.

Nick Norlen: Well, I hear they're not so keen on our E-I-C. Watch your back, Sweircz!

Nick Norlen: When the Mummers win, it'll be like Putin's Russia for dissenting journalists. Good thing you and I made up a good portion of those 40,000 votes last round.

Brian Howard: I know, my wrist still hurts from all the clicking.

Nick Norlen: So right now we need to get victory T-shirts made up for both sides.

Brian Howard: Yes. And send the championship shirts of the eventual runner-up to third-world countries. Where the children live in a strange alternate reality where the Eagles won the Superbowl in '05.

Brian Howard: Robert's should obviously be tie-dyed.

Nick Norlen: Hopefully we'll get some high bids on eBay for the "Mummers: Philly Madness 2007 Champions" shirts.

Nick Norlen: I mean, if that's how it turns out.

Brian Howard: Is it possible to put feathers on a T-shirt using, like, a Bedazzler?

Nick Norlen: I usually like to use the Bedazzler to Bedazzle.

Nick Norlen: I use puff paint to apply feathers.

Brian Howard: I forgot. You have some expertise where this is concerned. I saw you at the paper's 25th anniversary party. You were dressed as a tree.

Nick Norlen: You mean the 25th anniversary party where you dropped like 12 acid tabs?

Brian Howard: Yeah. That one.

Nick Norlen: Philly Madness has been a long, strange trip, has it not?

Brian Howard: Driving that train ...

Brian Howard: OK. I'm putting you on the spot: Pick the winner. And the percentage.

Nick Norlen: Pierre. 52 Percent. This one's going to be a barnburner.

Voting for City Paper's first annual Philly Madness bracket concludes Sunday at midnight. Visit www.citypaper.net/phillymadness to play.