The front door opened. My brain was like, Fuck you, dude. We stayed up and talked for a while — the kind of talk you have when you're both way too tired. Do they know who the father is, I asked. Stop it, my wife said.

Whenever American troops start coming home — and for political reasons many will almost certainly start coming back before the 2008 elections — you should get ready to place the blame for losing the Iraq war anywhere but on the fools who started it.

I remember precisely when I realized that John Street had lost touch with people, if not with the planet itself. What finally convinced me was Hizzoner's obsession with his power suit.

I agree with Dr. Karen Davis. However, I have a rather large problem with Davis herself. | Was Ryan Creed's "interview" with Michael Nutter supposed to be serious journalism? | I was very disappointed to read your misguided "connect the dots" discourse on Hon. Seamus McCaffery, the other Honorable Justices Ron Castile and Russell Nigro and hardworking Judge Kevin Dougherty.

City Paper: Why are you holding the "Teen Health and Harmony Summit" summit?
Eugene B. Padgett: There are a lot of kids that don't take care of themselves, that don't know the resources to get their health checked out. Teenage pregnancy, HIV and AIDS, high blood pressure, obesity, the list goes on and on and on.

"I knew you were going to ask that, James, this being Inside the Actors Studio and all. It's a question I've deeply pondered, yet remains elusive. How deep does one dig to discover their motivation to breathe life into a character? Very deep, James; well beyond those dead canaries in our emotional mines. Some people are just born with it, though."

Obviously trying to establish some sort of legacy in his waning months as mayor, John Street was there and introduced Rendell. Other guests included Democratic mayoral nominee Michael Nutter and various state officials. Schiffrin said Clinton spent a lot of time chatting with guests and availing himself for photo ops with high-level donors. So, what does one serve when entertaining a former leader of the free world?

Along with maintaining several self-owned West Philly properties, comic book creator Pete Stathis has a nationally distributed bimonthly to put out.

"Now, say what you will about New Jersey, but never, ever talk smack about the Pines." -- Marc Laurick

Superheroes have stopped being simple symbols and have become widespread cultural shorthand. It's this background that makes Austin Grossman's novel so possible and so satisfying.

Aiming for universality, Guillem Clua's drama fails to make its specific characters or their political positions tangible.

What Vagabond Acting Troupe's Romeo and Juliet at Second Stage at the Adrienne attempts is anyone's guess.

Rainpan43's Machines machines machines imagines paranoid geniuses augmenting their withdrawn existence with absurdly ingenious low-tech creations.

DanceBOOM!'s llusions of Space brings a different kind of intensity to the stage.

Center City Opera Theater, an ambitious local enterprise presided over by conductor Andrew M. Kurtz, ended its eighth season with a genuine event: the commissioned world premiere of a chamber version of The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Author-prodigy Helen Oyeyemi is a wizened 23-year-old Cambridge grad whose sharp new novel The Opposite House is already getting some buzz.

Audacia Ray's book Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration leaves virtually no subject in the last 20 years of digital coitus unexplored.

Dan Montrey's monthly sketch comedy nights at the Khyber are usually smart, topical and silly. But for their first annual Dirtiest Sketch in Philadelphia competition, the players are being asked to lower the bar a little. OK, a lot.

Inspired by the self-indulgent phenomenon, Downingtown artist Jeff Schaller based his latest project, "Headshots," on pictures he found through MySpace and the equally revealing Flickr.

Every year, the Rosenbach Museum and Library pays tribute to Joyce's masterwork Ulysses with a marathon public reading of the 250,000-word novel.

This new play by Philly's Eternal Spiral Project experiments with Reverend Matty Love's soundscapes, dancer Dawn Morningstar's choreography and an unusual plot.

Travel journalist extraordinaire Patricia Schultz has a few suggestions on where to spend some time this summer — 1,000, to be exact.

Rihanna's latest single , "Umbrella," is a dark, screwdriving club number built from big blotches of synth and a string of ricocheting syllables.

This week Noah Howard will share bills with two Scandinavian acts, playing duo sets with names that very well could have accompanied his on a loft-show flyer 40 years ago

Maybe Mary Timony's dispatched with the Vikings and fire queens she hung out with during the last days of noisy, old Helium or the fluid, calm early days of her solo career.  That doesn't mean her recent works are less fantastical, metaphorical or hyper-vivid.

Twenty-one years of Jazz Vespers concerts at Old Pine Street Presbyterian Church in Society Hill draws to a close this Sunday, thanks to a lack of finances and volunteer leadership from the church.

Real Men Cook | Summer Solstice Wine and Dine Trolley Tour | Atlantic City Seafood Festival | Bloomsday | Hands-on Cooking Class

1.) Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale | 2.) Saranac Pomegranate Wheat | 3.) Anderson Valley's Summer Solstice Cerveza Creama | 4.) Lindemanns Framboise | 5.) Brooklyn Summer Ale

Cold beer on a hot day — so good, it wouldn't be surprising if City Council passed a resolution banning it. If you're looking for a good place to tank up before they drop the hammer, head to Kensington's Atlantis: The Lost Bar.

Wynton Marsalis — educator, social critic, trumpet-playing member of America's first family of jazz — says that becoming the artistic director for Jazz at Lincoln Center was his wisest move.

As part of a citywide series of events celebrating National Black Music Month in June, Ewuare X. Osayande will talk about the current state of hip-hop and black culture at the African American Museum in Philadelphia.

If our galactic neighbors have the technology to travel all this way, doesn't it seem reasonable that they could do more than just hang around overhead?

The minimal outlets for controversial indie films — coupled with the belief that all people should be aware of pressing issues — prompted Philly-based communication collaborative GeoClan to take action.

Every Tue., June 19-Aug. 21, dusk, free, Liberty Lands Park, Third Street just above Poplar Street, www.myspace.com/lawnchairdrivein We know you're tired of the same old

Daddy and Me Slumber Party | Wee Friends Festival | Day Out With Thomas | Jane Addams Children's Book Awards Tea Party