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(Elderly) People Are Still Having Sex


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Published: Sep 12, 2007

Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual YearsWed., Sept. 19, noon-2 p.m., $20-$25 includes lunch, Gershman Y, 401 S. Broad St., 215-446-3021, www.gershmany.org

While you might not like to imagine your mother having sex, you kinda don't want her to not have it, either. But say she's newly divorced, or otherwise unattached — snagging a long-term lover or boy toy can be a tricky business. Or, at least, that's what we're made to think. "Women over 50 are often seen as tired, done, less attractive, less sexually interested, all kinds of negative things," says sex and relationship expert Pepper Schwartz. "For women in their 70s and 80s, having sex is seen as kind of ridiculous."

But that's exactly what Schwartz is advocating. Her new memoir, Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years (Harper Collins, $24.95), recounts her own happy leap back into the dating world, as a fiftysomething following the end of her 23-year marriage. With the sort of self-confidence that you'd expect from somebody who studies lovin' for a living, Schwartz enthusiastically describes her various man-encounters and provides dating tips for the middle-aged set. She had little trouble getting some; looking for romance later in life, it seems, causes a lot less stress.

"When you're younger, you focus on finding a partner to raise a family with," says Schwartz. "When you're older, it's more about the relationship, not all of those 'shoulds' and 'must dos.' The right religion, the right family background, all of this stuff becomes less interesting."

While she focuses on encouraging single seniors to get back in the game, Schwartz is also quick to reassure young'uns who keep striking out at bat. "Women don't have to worry about finding someone in their 20s and 30s. You're going to have a long time to get sexual."