The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Son of former congressman Curt Weldon charged with possession of marijuana, paraphernalia and prescription drugs. Weldon holds press conference to announce he's not gay. Minus 1

Neighborhood groups on opposing sides of the casino debate trade punches at picnic sponsored by SugarHouse. And, oh God, the lawndarts match did not go well. Plus 3

Classes begin for 172,000 students in School District of Philadelphia. Meanwhile, learning begins for 172,000 — x, where x = 172,000. Plus x

Judge readying verdict in case of man who ran over 189 seagulls at Packer Marine Terminal in February 2006. "He ran. He ran so far away. He ran. He ran all night and day," says prosecutor. "He couldn't get away." Plus 189

State Sens. Vince Fumo and Anthony Williams push for creation of commission with the power to elect city judges. "I figure we'll call it Vinnie's Supa Def Power Hoarding Caucus," says Fumo. Minus 9

Mayor Street announces "stepped-up tax collection program" that looks to generate $235 million in the next five years. "Man, I shoulda thought this thing up years ago," says Street. "Like, five years ago." Plus 1

Protesters call City Council's affordable housing bill "deeply flawed." "Yeah? Well your little cardboard house puppets are deeply stupid," says Council. Plus 2

A cache of Allen Iverson's belongings, including two full-length chinchilla coats and a mini Maserati, auctioned off in Port Richmond. Fun fact: It takes only one chinchilla to make an Iverson-length coat. Plus 1

Inky seeks variance to display over 9,000 square feet of advertising around the outside of its Broad Street headquarters. City Paper seeks variance to dress William Penn as "TS Willi Pee." Even

Total Pluses: 172,196

Total Minuses: 10

This Week's Total: 172,186

Last Week's Total: 0