Just Do It

Doug Stanhope

by Ben Kharakh

Sat., Oct. 6, 9 p.m., $10, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-787-0488, www.northstarrocks.com

With worldwide critical praise, a résumé that includes Comedy Central and Showtime specials and plenty of devoted fans, Doug Stanhope could sell out any club he wants. Instead, he sticks to bars and indie-rock venues, where his biting and hilarious brand of social commentary can be experienced at a much lower cost and uncensored. Considering his birth-control suggestions, this is probably a good idea.

City Paper: You're known for pushing your body to the extremes in terms of drug use. How do you feel about extreme sports?

Doug Stanhope: If you take unnecessary risks with your life in what's considered an athletic or sporting endeavor — mountain climbing, etc. — it's applauded. But if you do the same with your brain — psychedelics, etc. — you're a fucking moron. Evidently it's socially acceptable to get your thrills if it results in great calves and a tan, but frowned upon if it only gives you empathy for the human condition.

CP: Any other suggestions for feeling empathy for people?

DS: Stop making them. People are no different from any other commodity. The more there are on the market, the less their value. Slow the output and watch their market value skyrocket.

CP: How would you get people to go along with that?

DS: Law never goes a fraction of the length that public shame travels. If people were openly castigated and mocked for having children, it would work the same way "only a coward would hit a woman" has lessened spousal abuse.

CP: What other societal ills could shaming cure?

DS: Look at what its hampered: drug use, smoking, littering, etc. It'd work as well for anything: nationalism, consumerism, driving PT Cruisers. The problem is that you're outnumbered by idiots.