Oh, We've Got an Alibi

Ten lines you can use when somebody points out that you live in the most uggo city in the U.S.

Those world-class aesthetes over at Travel & Leisure magazine have pronounced Philadelphia U-G-L-Y: ugliest city in America (or, OK, least attractive in a poll of 25 cities). But before we go changing our motto ("Philly's more fun when you do it from behind"), we figured we'd come up with some excuses.

Top 10 lines you can use when somebody points out that you live in Philly, most uggo city in the U.S.

1. It's a lobster allergy!

2. I'm training for Wing Bowl.

3. I got drunk and scalded my face on Lorenzo's pizza. So did everyone I know.

4. I'm still abiding by the West Philly Shampoo Boycott of 1972.

5. The trans fats go right to my eyelids.

6. My face only does this when I smell vomit.

7. My face is a metaphor for thegrotesqueness of my soul.

8. I was much hotter before the smoking ban.

9. I'm making my own foie gras.

10. I'm John DeBella.