The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

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Published: Oct 31, 2007

Kensington residents angered by drug needle exchange program. Because the needles appear to be empty. Minus 1

Youth credited with blowing the lid off Columbine-like attack plot at Plymouth Whitemarsh High rewarded with handshake from President Bush. "Wait, that's all I get?" asks kid. "I'm so furious and disgruntled. I'll show you. I'll show you all." Even

Drexel hosts Democratic presidential debate. Penn hosts intergalactic summit. Plus 3

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson impersonators at Independence Visitors Center debate issues from 1792. Betsy Ross, Molly Pitcher, Dolley Madison: Fuck, marry, kill. Even

SugarHouse cites 1907 building permissions law to override state control of casino construction. Fuck you, SugarHouse. Minus 10

George Bush visits Bryn Mawr to raise money for state Republican party. He'd heard everybody there loves bush. Minus 6

Philadelphia Gay Tourism Caucus institutes sensitivity program to avoid uncomfortable moments between gay guests and hotel staff. Basically it boils down to lube. Plus 3

Philly-based culinary personality Friedman Paul "Chef Tell" Erhardt, said to have inspired The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef, dies at age 63. Our der-duh-dert-duh-dur condolences to the family. Minus 10

Judge hearing the case of body-part-thieving funeral home directors dismissed after DAs discover he's played golf with the defendants. "When those guys hit a bucket of balls," says judge, "they hit a bucket of balls." Minus 1

Total Pluses: 6

Total Minuses: 28

This Week's Total: -22

Last Week's Total: 31

 

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