The Bell Curve

When news breaks in Philadelphia, we make jokes.

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Published: Nov 28, 2007

Local Catholic schools speak out about upcoming film The Golden Compass, claiming it promotes anti-religious thought. "And don't go see The Mist," they add. "The monster turns out to just be a big humidifier." Minus 1

North Philadelphia Aztecs youth football team loses 27-26 in triple overtime, narrowly missing Pop Warner Super Bowl berth. They were done in by the other team's "Smallpox Offense." Even

Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson calls inability to select own command team "a terrible flaw." "If I had my druthers," says Sylvie, "I'd have chosen a cigar-chomping older gentleman who loves a well-executed plan, a howling mad helicopter pilot, a master of disguise I'd call the 'Faceman' and the actor Mr. T. But that's just me." Minus 3

Researchers predict that Philly will experience influx of older and elderly suburb-to-city transplants in next 30 years. Stephen Starr begins scouting locations for Geriatrixx, his hip, new country-style buffet/luxe lounge. Even

Poll suggests that Philadelphia will lead nation in online holiday shopping. We can all agree to blame this one on the Gallery, right? Even

City Council votes to require seat belts on public school buses. And delicious candy rainbows for everybody who's having a bad day. Plus 8

Le Bec-Fin chef/owner Georges Perrier puts Main Line home on the market for $2.25 million. Saw the place, Georges. For that price, we thought there'd be more. Even

New England Patriots' narrow 31-28 defeat of Eagles registers high national TV ratings. Only the Eagles can have their biggest win of the year be a loss. Plus 1

Total Pluses: 9

Total Minuses: 4

This Week's Total: 5

Last Week's Total: 0

 

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